The Subjection of Spirit-filled Wives

Transcript

GR 157
11/16/1975
The Subjection of Spirit-filled Wives
Ephesians 5:22-24
Gil Rugh

We are going to be in Ephesians Chapter 5 for our study this morning. One thing about when we come into areas which we call practical areas where God speaks directly regarding our conduct some of those areas are very pointed and blunt, and sometimes warning to walk carefully not as unwise men but as wise. The unbeliever is unwise because he has no spiritual intelligence or perception. He cannot walk in accord with the will of God because he is ignorant of God’s will and God’s ways. Part of waking as wise individuals in verse 16 was redeeming the time, making the most of the opportunities thus structuring our lives and priorities to be about what God would have us doing recognizing that we live in evil and decadent days.

Verse 18 brought the contrast, don’t get drunk with wine that leads to debauchery dissipation but be filled with the spirit. When a person is under the controlling influence of liquor then their lifestyle becomes that of debauchery and licentiousness. The controlling influence of liquor leads to this style of life. Well, we are to be under the controlling influence of the spirit and to be filled is to be controlled with the spirit. And when you are controlled with the spirit then the results are in verses in 19 and 20. Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs you are making melody in your heart to the lord giving thanks always and being subject to one another. So these are manifestations that the spirit of God controls the life. The joy and the overflowing joy that he produces, the last area being subject to one another is the area that the apostle was going to develop through the rest of chapter 5 and down through chapter 6 and verse 9. Different aspects of submission, the areas where submit to one another.

There is no conflict when Paul says in verse 21 being to subject to one another and then talking about specific areas of subjection. In others words the general pattern is we are willing to subject ourselves to one another as believers. Now specific areas where we subject ourselves, wives to husband, children to parents, slaves to masters. Another areas would be believers to elders those who have responsibility of oversight, we would submit ourselves to their leadership so a willingness to submit as God as laid it out in his word.

Now we’re going to be talking about the husband wife relationship very practical and personal area, area that is very closely related to the doctrine we’ve been studying about. We’ll be talking about the spirit’s filling. That basic area of doctrine the spirit control of the life of a believer is foundational to the husband wife relationship because if you do not have a husband and a wife who are functioning under the control of the spirit you will not have a relationship as God intended it to be. Thus you will not have the peace and enjoyment and satisfaction and so on that would come out of that type of relationship. So the spirit’s filing is foundational to it.

The husband and wife relationship is drawn in the analogy with the church and Christ. And if you want to understand some of the proper relationship between a husband a wife you must understand something about the relationship between Christ and the church because that is the relationship which the marriage relationship is to portray. When someone looks at your relationship as a husband and a wife they are to see pictured and portrayed the relationship that Jesus Christ has with his church. So again there is doctrinal intermingling with our practice and they’re inseparable. Doctrine is the foundation for practice and practice is simply the living of the doctrine. And they are just all mixed together and if you do not have a proper foundation in the word then to that extent your conduct will be out of harmony with what God intends it to be.

This whole area of the marriage relationship being a picture of Christ and his church makes it a very crucial area. If someone ask what is the relationship between Christ and his church. I ought to be able to say well just look at my relationship with my wife. Analyze our relationship and you’ll see something of that relationship pictured. Now that’s put a great responsibility and pressure in the proper sense. Now I take it realizing this that it’s such a crucial area it comes at the very heart our Christian life we can expect that the devil is going to be doing what he can to disrupt the picture. So as people look at our homes they don’t see an accurate portrayal of Christ relationship with his church. And thus we find the family under great pressure from the wrong side. Thus even in Christian homes we find husband and wives not functioning as they intend to function. It’s basic that we realize if we are going to function in a proper way we have to know how to function, where are we going to go information. I think what we have to study this morning is the very basis of that whole are.

You note in verse 22, wives be subject, and the be subject is in italics, it’s not there and the idea is picked up from verse 21, being subject to one another in the fear of Christ wives to your own husbands. In other words you are developing it directly out of the being subject which was directly tied to being filled with the spirit. So what we’re going to be talking about is a wife who is manifesting that the spirit of God is in control of her life. Wives be subject to your own husbands. Now this immediately raises the question. Subjection of the wife, that’s a nice statement if you are a man. If you are woman there maybe questions with it and we know the situation we live in today there are many questions about the idea of a subject relationship wife being subject to a husband. We’re back to this idea of authority and important that we understand that marriage is of divine origin. It was God who established and planned for a man and a woman to live in a relationship called marriage. Thus he is the authority behind this relationship. So if I want to find out how a wife should function, I want to find out how a husband should function then I have to go to God and find out what he says because he is author of it.

Now turn to back in your bibles to the book of Genesis Chapter 2. Here we have marriage instituted by God. Now of course somebody who sets aside the opening chapters of Genesis sets aside the foundation for marriage. Now you set aside the opening chapters of Genesis you set aside the foundation for the rest of the bible so we have no basis to talk together anyway, there is no revelation from God, there is no standard. If there is no standard every man does what’s right in own eyes. But in Genesis Chapter 2 we find God establishing marriage. Verse 18, then the lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him”. It’s going to be the first principle in the relationship of the wife being subject to her husband. That being that the man was created first. The man who was created first that is foundational and to the relationship which they are going to have together.

Now God is looking for one who will be suited to him. A helper suited or suitable fitted to him. And Adam in verse 19 and 20 names all the animals and there is no helper quite right for man among the animals. This was benefit to Adam he could find out, God already knew that the animals wouldn’t make a fit companion. He had created the animals as well as Adam. Verse 21, so the lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, he slept and he took one of his ribs or his side parts and he closed up the flesh at that place and the lord God fashioned into a woman the rig which he had taken from the man and brought to her to the man. And the woman said this now is bones of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, shall cleave to his wife. They shall become one flesh. The first marriage that ever occurred, you note God is the one who establishes it. He creates a woman for the very purpose of fitting a man and being a companion suitable for him. The first area to realize woman is to be subject to a man because man was created first and woman was created for him not vice versa as we’ll see in the New Testament.

Look over in Genesis Chapter 3 verse 16, second important foundational area is the fall and the even surrounding the fall. The fall has occurred, Eve was deceived by the serpent and Adam followed her lead and ate of the forbidden fruit. So in verse 16 as God meets out his punishment to the woman he said I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth. In pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you. We have no cultural bounds for limitations here. We’re back at the beginning in the first relationship and the reason for the relationship between the man and the woman. The woman being subject to the man is two folds. One the man was created first and second, the events of the fall. The woman was deceived and thus her position as being ruled by her husband is established by God.

I think we ought to be clear on this as believers, disturbing to read so many Christians writing articles that want to put Paul in a cultural situation. What Paul writes has nothing to do with the culture in which he is involved because he is writing under the inspiration of the spirit of God and what he has to say is not bound by cultural situations. The foundation for this relationship is not Paul’s day. It’s all the way back at the beginning of time when God created man and woman. Paul uses these two arguments, and we’ll probably get there later in first Timothy Chapter 2 where the woman was deceived in the fall and the woman was created after the man as foundational for the subject relationship.

So turn back to Ephesians and the fifth chapter. Wives being subject that is the basic position, to your own husbands. Now we’re dealing in a marriage relationship we’re not dealing with the man and woman relationship generally. I believe the scripture gives indication on that as well growing out of this. But we’re primarily concerned with the husband wife relationship. What is the relationship of a wife to her husband and vice versa? Well they are to be subject to your own husbands. I think this is important and you got to underline it, being subject to your own husband. There is a tendency and a danger to want to gravitate to someone else’s leadership especially if you don’t care for the leadership your husband is providing. It’s easy to call somebody else up, call the pastors up and ask them what they think. But you know it is irreverent because you are to be subject to your own husband not to me. So you call up and say year husband wants me to do this, what do you think about it. Well, that’s irrelevant. My wife has to do what I think ought to be done. You have to do what your husband thinks ought to be done. I might say I think that’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard. But you got to do it. Because you are to be subject to him not me.

I think sometimes we have the idea well I if I can get enough concurring opinion out here that will free me from the obligation over here. No, a wife is to be subject to her own husband. That takes the pressure off as well. You as a wife don’t have be running around getting the collection of ideas so you can make a decision. All you have to do is get your husband’s decision. You got that decisions made so why clutter the area up by asking somebody else’s decision or opinion. All that does is breed frustration because you got decision to make but you really can’t make because your husband already made it. So be subject to your own husband. And I note at the end of that verse 22, as to the lord, being subject to your husband’s as to the lord.

Now this doesn’t mean that in the same way that you are subject to the Lord you are subject to your husband. It goes beyond that. It means that it is your duty to the lord to be subject to your husband. That is the point that is driving home. This is a responsibility to the lord which you have as a wife to be subject to your husband. And if you are being submissive to your husband you are in effect are being submissive to the lord because this is what the lord has made you responsible for to be submissive to your husband. If you are not being submissive to your husband you are not being submissive to the lord. You cannot make a dichotomy here. The Lord’s will is that you’ll be submissive to your husband. If you are not submissive to your husband then you are not submissive to the lord. It’s not like well I have to determine what the lord wants me to do and if that’s in agreement with what my husband wants me to do then I’ll do it. The lord has already made clear what he wants you to do when your husband has indicated it.

Again keep in mind we want to find out what God says is the proper relationship and area of functioning and responsibility and nothing to do with what my opinion is or your opinion is. And we’re going to expect that it’s going to be in conflict with the world’s opinion because the world never is in harmony with God. Friendship with the world is enmity with God, why, because the world is the enemy of God. We’re going to expect the world’s philosophy will go contrary to the word. What we’re concerned about as we talked about last week is that I don’t find myself pressured into becoming like the world because I do have an authoritative revelation from God on what the home is to be like, what the wife’s relationship to her husband is like. So doesn’t matter what all the psychologists and psychiatrist and everyone else write. It was not in conformity with the word of God they are wrong because I have absolute truth as God has revealed it.

We’re talking about now what God has created the woman for and we do this in every other area. You go home today and you want scrambled egg for lunch. You take out one of your best stereo records put it on the stove and start to scramble an egg and somebody walks in and says wait a minute, records weren’t made for scrambling eggs on the stove. You say, get out of here. I know what I am doing. So you turn on the gas and produce to mix your record and egg together. Now you know the purpose of the record and you’ll say well, nobody would do that that is stupid. Right, why, everybody knows what a record is for. How do you know, well they tell you learn it, that’s part of growing up. Now our little children they do things with record we’d say they are not made for. Why, because they’re in ignorance. Why expect then that the world would do the same thing. God says what a husband and a wife are made. Now expect that the world in ignorance of God will take that relationship and abuse it. But that doesn’t mean that the Christian ought to follow their pattern as though they were in ignorance as well.

I could say I believe orange Volkswagens will fly. So I drive it into the cargo space of an airplane, we get up to 10 to 20,000 feet however high you get and I say open the door I am going to fly. They Volkswagens don’t fly, I say orange ones do, open the door. So what happens, they open the door and put it in gear and pat, pat, pat we fly. No, we don’t. For a period of time you might say we fly but it is relatively short, why. Volkswagens weren’t made to fly. Float yes, well I know. What are we saying? It’s simply a matter of recognizing what it was made for, that’s all. And we say now a person with any understanding will use in accord with the balance for it was created. What I am saying is that we go the word and find out what was the wife created for. Not to put her down, not to abuse her or to put her as a second class citizen as we would state it but simply that she might be functioning as God intended her. Anything else is ruinous and harmful. What does God say, is the proper relationship, the proper realm in which a woman should function. It is subjection to her husband. Now I take it anything else is harmful, is in conflict with God’s will and thus ruinous ultimately to the relationship. All right so this is the responsibility of the wife to be subject to her own husband that is a duty that she owes to the lord. So that takes it out of the mundane realm. I am being subject to the lord. I owe as my responsibility as a believer before him to be subject to my husband.

All right, a little bit of explanation in verse 23, “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church”. So giving an explanation he says the reason this is so that the wife is subject to her husband is because just like Christ is head over his church so the husband is the head of the wife. Now we’re back in the analogy of the body again. And Christ is the head of the body his church. Look back in Ephesians 1, versus 22 and 23, “And he put all things in subjection under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all”. The church is the body of Christ, he is the head, Chapter 4, verse 15 same analogy, “But speaking the truth in love we are to grow up in all aspect into him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the fitted and joint together and so on”. Christ is the head. The whole body is subject to him is under him, under his control and under authority.

I take it that the authority of Christ over his church is absolute and complete and that is the analogy that Paul is talking about in the relationship of the husband and the wife, that the husband’s authority over the wife is absolute and complete. Now we had all hung up on thinking of the exception. What about if this would happen, there are all these exceptions. We need to be more concerned about the responsibilities as is laid out in the word instead of trying to find exceptions to it. What if I go home today and my husband says dear, I want you to crawl to China on your knees. What are you got to do, pack a peanut butter sandwich and start crawling to China. Well absurd, you say right and really I haven’t had any problems in the six years I’ve been here with people calling me about these kind of relationships maybe one or two not that particular one. But basically the responsibility is clear. It’s a total subjection, again it takes the pressure off of the wife and she was not made for this pressure.

Now again a wife can have the wrong idea and she was. I go to the word and find out she wasn’t. She was not made to be the leader. The husband was made to be the leader and she begins the function in a situation for which she was not intended then you see ruinous results coming of it and the whole relationship becomes distorted. The whole picture of Christ in his church is distorted. It’s just as though the church would now begin to rule Christ. That’s absurd and it is just as unrealistic to talk about the wife ruling the husband. It happens but it is just as absurd, just as in conflict with the intended purpose of God in the home as if the church was ruling Christ instead of Christ the church. Just as though your head was doing what your finger told to you to do. That would be total confusion and chaos.

Okay, so the husband is the head of the wife in verse 23 as Christ is head of the church. Now, this analogy is developed in first Corinthians Chapter 11 as well backup toward the front of you bible a little. The chapter opens up the same way Chapter 5 of Ephesians opened up that we are to be imitators of God. Now Chapter 11 First Corinthians open up, be imitators of me as I am of Christ so that Paul didn’t have a pattern imitate God. Well, you want something a little more concrete imitate me. Pattern yourself after me why because I am patterned myself after Christ. You pattern yourself after me you pattern yourself after Christ. Paul had no problem with using himself as an example.

Verse 3 though, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, the man is the head of the woman, God is the head of Christ”. Now here is the divinely established order. God, Christ, the man, the woman. Now, as soon as we end up with the woman on the low end of the totem, well we say uh-huh, now that’s already fair you want to make her not worth anything. You can hardly talk about equality and all but I take it this verse is very clear that we talk about submissiveness there is no issue of equality involved at all or lack of equality. Because you’ll note Christ is the head of every man, the man is the head of the woman; God is the head of Christ so God the father is the head of God the son. Now this can imply inferiority in no way because Jesus Christ is every bit as much God as the father is. Jesus Christ in his character in person is the equal of God the father in every way. Now those scriptures make that clear. So to talk about submissiveness as implying inferiority is umbilical and yet this kind of argument keeps coming out even in Christian literature, Christian so called that well as soon as you talk about submissiveness then you are making inferior. Well if that’s the case Jesus Christ is no longer God because he is inferior. If that’s the case you no longer have any salvation because it wasn’t the God man who died for you.

So First Corinthians 11:3 makes clear that submission does not imply inferiority. It implies order and order is that I am responsible to Christ, Christ is responsible to God the father and my wife is responsible to me. And you note in the order of things. When I submit to Christ I am submitting to the father. There is no such thing in the order as God has laid it out that I refuse to be submissive to Christ but I’ll be submissive to the father. You cannot go around the structure that has God has established and there is no change that my wife will be submissive to Christ or the father but be in rebellion against me because God’s order is established. Now she is not inferior to me in person or character. She is subject to me in position. And again we see this in the world in various situations.

Now just because someone has authority in a position does not mean that you are superior as a person or in their character and nature. It simply means by virtue of their position the have authority, that’s all. We see this in our businesses when I worked. When I was going through college I had a responsibility. People were responsible to me. I was responsible to my manager. My manager was responsible to his supervisor and that was the order and the chain of command. Now the people under me were responsible simply to do what I directed. I was responsible to be doing what I was directed to do. My manager is responsible to do what his supervisor directed him to do. If I was out of line then that was being out of line not only to my manager but to my manager’s supervisor. The order of command and the chain was established and it’s the same way in the God head.

Now that does not mean that those who worked under me were inferior to me. It simply meant in the order of this business they were subject to me and it’s same in the home. The wife is no inferior in any way spiritually to her husband and in other way she maybe superior. But in the order of things she is to be subject to him and if she is not subject to him then she is in rebellion not only to her husband but against Christ and against the father. And that’s why it’s the control of the spirit necessary to produce the proper submission. Christ also is the head of the church. He himself being the savior of the body and it maybe that Paul is showing that of course Christ’s position goes beyond what the husband’s is. I am not the savor for my wife. My wife is saved by personal faith in Jesus Christ, not saved by responding to me obviously. But Christ is the savior.

But in the context probably Paul has the broader idea of savor in view because Christ is the savior of the body in the sense that he is the one reasonable for the care and provision for the body and so he is the savior in that broad sense. And in the same way the husband as head of his wife is responsible for the care, nurture and provision for his wife. This puts into context this are of submission, these men are great we can rattle off with what wife’s responsibility is. We sometimes abuse this. But the responsibility is here that my wife being submissive to me means that I am responsible to be functioning in light of what is best for her out of a concern for her welfare, development and growth and so on, just as Christ does for me. That’s the analogy and Christ’s care for his church is total and complete. There is no sacrifice that he has not made for my benefit as a member of his body and that ought to be the way that I function with my wife, that I am willing to do anything in order that she might be benefited and grow and so on.

Now that does not mean therefore I let her be boss because that would be for her good. I already know that the word says that’s not for her good anymore that Christ, maybe head of the church because that wouldn’t be for my good of the church is good. So it’s within the context of the word of God obviously, that’s what is best, that is what is right and proper. But I am responsible then for the care of my wife. That doesn’t mean look, wife I am the boss here you do this. Often and usually that comes out of just a selfish attitude. I know what I want and I want you to do it to please me. I am to be functioning out of a concern for her.

Paul develops this down in verses 28 and 29 we’ll just read it. “Husbands are also to love their wives as their own bodies, he who loves his own wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church”. Now that’s the standard for my care of my wife. Just like Christ cares for the church so I am to care for my wife. Now she is to be subject to me but just keep in balance just as the church is the Christ and Christ cares for the church in a very real and direct way and I am to for my wife, to my wife and to be one who cares and provides for in every way.

First Peter Chapter 3, verse 7, you can jot it down we won’t turn there right now but there Peter talks about caring for your wife as the weaker vessel. Now that’s not popular today, the emphasis of the day is that we’re equal and equality means sameness. And so the woman is to participate in the same sports as the man and everything so ridiculous in light of the word. I don’t take surprise that the word has come to this point, they are totally opposite reality but a believer ought not to be caught up into it. I have to recon as my wife is the weaker vessel. That’s the scriptural evaluation. God made her to be the weaker vessel not the inferior vessel any more than the record was inferior to the pan. It just has a different purpose. And so my wife is the weaker vessel. Now it created a function as I was intended to create and created to function intended by God.

Okay, back to Ephesians verse 23, himself being the savior of the body but there is a conclusion here and a contrast. Now as Paul gets back to the main idea. His main idea in verse 22 to 24 is not to develop the responsibility of the husband. He has just brought that in as slide light that Christ is the savior of the body but the responsibility of the wife; we’ll pick the responsibility of the husband in a moment so in contrast because the idea here is to pick up. Uh-huh, well if my husband cared for me like that like Christ cares for the church obviously I’ll be submissive to him. That is irreverent to you as wife. We get too concerned worrying about somebody else’s responsibility. I am all wrapped in what my wife’s responsibility is but also wrapped up in what my responsibility is. That’s totally twisted.

I am to be concerned about my responsibility as a Christian husband. She is to be concerned about her responsibility as a Christian wife. So we get back to the main idea here. There are no exceptions. It’s not well if my husband did this then I would do this because there are no excuses for me not being submissive to Jesus Christ. Your sin doesn’t excuse my sin and never does and that’s the way it is the home as well. But as the church is subject to Christ so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. You note as the church is subject to Christ and how is the church subject to Christ, total submission, total subjection. Is there any area that you can think of where it is right for the church not to be subject to the head Jesus Christ. Well I take it it’s the same thing in the husband wife relationship and Paul makes it clear. The wife is to be to their husbands in everything. He didn’t say in most things. The wives are to be subject to their husbands in everything. So I take it that just takes the pressure off the wife completely.

You know, here is what as men try to cough out, well you decide, uh-huh, sorry guys here where the responsibility is and soon as I do that I am not functioning biblically because when does Jesus Christ as the head of the church tell me to make the decisions for the church. Now it doesn’t mean that I don’t consult my wife, I don’t take her into consideration, that’s part of my care for her. But the decision lays here and because I don’t want to be bothered or I don’t want to take the blame or I am too weakly I going to let my wife do it, then I begin to function in an un-biblical way. My wife is to be subject to in everything. And the decision that is made is made here and who is responsible for it, I am.

You know, when I was working and I made, some under me made decisions that were wrong. You know, whom the manager came to see, not those under me, he didn’t come to that guy and say, hey dummy. You know who he came to this dummy, hey dummy why did you do that, why, who was responsible for the decision. I was. You know when I made a wrong decision, who the supervisor came to, he didn’t come to me. He came to the one over me, why, he was responsible. You know who is responsible for the decisions made in your home, you are responsible as the husband and as the leader and so your wife is to be subject to you in everything. So when the husband makes the decision I take it that is the decision that the lord will allow to be made and the wife is responsible to submit to. Now it means that the wife ought to be in prayer for her husband because he defiantly wants him to make the right decisions.

Look over in first Peter 3, we quote this just to be sure that you see how broad the scope is because the question comes up that would be fine if I had a Christian husband. If I had Christian husband that would right. If I had a husband who was controlled by the spirit obviously no problem, I’d submit to him every day in my life. But my husband is not only not controlled by the spirit, he is not even spirit indwell because he is not a Christian. Now, obviously God wouldn’t want a woman to be submissive to an unregenerate man, of course not except verse Peter 3 says yes. Verse 1, in the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands, and he has just been talking about slaves and masters and in the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word they maybe one without a word by the behavior of their wives. Being disobedient to the word here I a way of referring to the unbelieving husband. Peter makes very clear. You wives have to submissive to your husband’s even if they are unbelievers. So that takes the pressure off again. Because it’s not well now I am Christian wife my husband is not a Christian I got all decisions to make. No, he still got all the decisions to make. You just got to submit to the lord and submit to your husband in submitting to the lord. Bring him before the lord in prayer that the lord will give the wisdom and the direction to make the right decisions though when he makes them I take it they are me.

If he wants you to stay home tonight and watch World Disney and not come to Indian Hills you know what you ought to do, you got to say home cuddle up on the couch with him and watch World Disney. That doesn’t mean you ought to say home and pelt and grumble and mumble. But stayed home so I was submissive, this goes beyond the external submission because that bitterness and resentment that can well up and be developing. I am submitting but underneath I am not liking it. That’s not the spirit’s control, the spirit controls on the inside and when he produces submissiveness he produces it from the inside out. When we do it we produce it the outside and there is nothing on the inside. But the wife’s responsibility is submissive to her husband. That takes the pressure off. All those decisions that you were wrestle with, all those things you were trying to decide all you got to do is leave it with your husband.

That put a lot of responsibility on the husband but the wife was not made to make those decisions to provide that leadership and so she is not equipped to it. And in a home where it is happening things are out of conformity to the word, there is disharmony, disunity and thus the blessings that God intends at marriage do not occur and cannot occur. Now we can expect this will be contrary to the mind of the word. Remember the unregenerate man is ignorance. He functions in accord with the futility of his mind as Ephesians 4:17 and 18 talked about. So I can expect this is going to go directly in conflict with what the world would think and it is. You can’t get any more opposite to what the world is saying. Then they think that equality is sameness and you could not function in any way. If equality is sameness that means I don’t have don’t have to listen to anybody about anything because we’re all the same and I don’t have a boss at work because we’re equals and being equal means the same. So nobody is boss of anyone, no one any authority and this is the direction we find ourselves moving with the chaos and breakdown of authority in the world. We ought not to be part of it as believers. We have a structure of authority laid down in the objective truth of the word of God and that will be clear to us.

Look in Titus Chapter 2, again this theme comes up again and again through the bible I meant just Titus because I think it’s important. The world has determined that the relationship of a man and woman is one of sameness, not equality sameness. They don’t realize but as soon as you say equality and sameness you have ruined the equality. As soon as I say I have to use my stereo record in the same way that I use a pot and pan I have ruined any equality that would come out of using them both in their proper positions and areas for which they were created. As soon as I make them the same I have destroyed the equality because the weaker vessel will be crushed, the record would be ruined and it’s the same in every other area. You start using things for which they were not created you ruin any equality. Equality comes when each is used for the purpose for which it was created and it’s the same in the relationship of the husband and the wife. So we don’t have equality today. The emphasis on sameness is ruinous. We have lost the equality when we have said everything and everyone is the same.

Now this is being pressed and you young people are in schools and so on this is becoming the obligated thing. The world comes to a position it doesn’t matter how it falls now everybody has to have the position. So our text books and so on all have to portray this. And I take it Titus is warning that we ought to be instructing our young woman, older woman likewise are to be reverent in their behavior. You are malicious gossips not enslaved to much wine teaching what is good that they may encourage the young woman to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, no why, in order that the word of God may not be dishonored.

So what are older women to be teaching younger women both by their words and their practice? Now one key element is submissiveness to their own husband and you’ll note the importance of it is that the word of God be not dishonored. A wife who was not submissive to her husband is dishonoring the word of God because she in conflict with it. And so we ought to be careful that we are teaching this and you as a Christian mother your young people and the daughters growing up in your home ought to see by the domineer of your life that you are subject to your husband and they pick it up if it’s only surface thing or if it’s real and genuine. We need to be careful that our young people bring brought up in conformity with the word, not in conformity to the worlds because of their exposure to it.

Now one passage that keeps coming to mind when we talk about these areas is the book of Galatians Chapter 3. Galatians 3:28, verse 26 tells us, “You are all sons of God through faith in Chris”. You become God’s child, God’s son by believing in Jesus Christ. That’s the only way into the family of God and we’re talking about people who are members of his family primarily. Now those who are in the family of Christ have closed themselves with Christ in verse 27. Now note verse 28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek there slave nor freeman, there is neither male nor female, you are all one in Christ Jesus”. That verse keeps being quoted even by believers and say see there is no longer this submissive attitude because in Christ we’re all one and that is true. In position before God my wife is every bit my equal. Spiritually there is no distinction. In our position in Christ we are equal, we are one. But in the order in our home she is subject to me and that’s just the distinction.

Paul wrote Galatians 3:28 under the inspiration of the spirit as well Ephesians 5 and then in Ephesians 6 we’re going to find Paul commanding the slaves to be subject to their masters. But positionally before God there is no distinction between a slave and a master. But in the order of things the slave is subject to the master. Positionally before God my wife and I are equals. In many ways my wife maybe my superior but in the order of things she is subject to me. So I ought to be careful in our exegesis of the word to put things in the proper context not trying to nullify one part of the word by emphasizing another part. They are in perfect harmony and our spiritual position before God as his sons we are all equal just as Jesus Christ as God is equal with his father. But in the order of things he is subject to his father, in the order of things the wife is subject to her husband.

So back Ephesians Chapter 5, to tie this together I take it that the intended relationship between the husband and wife has been from the creation, in light of what we read in Genesis that the wife is to submit to her husband. Now because of sin and the rebellious character of sin this is no longer the natural conduct. There he is achieving against being what God intended for us to be and this position of submissiveness with a willing proper attitude will occur only as the spirit of God controls you as a Christian wife. You say well it’s not natural. My husband is not a leader and I am a leader in, it’s just not like me to be submissive. That’s exactly right because it’s never like the flesh to be in conformity with the will of God. But as the spirit of God controls you he always controls you to mold you into what God intends you to be, not what the flesh wants you go to be. And so as Christian wife your responsibility is to be filled with the spirit, allow the spirit of God to control you. For some of you this will be a more difficult battle than others in this particular area. Each person’s battles are different and this maybe a particular battle in your relationship with your husband. The way that that battle is won is not by you trying to do better. Is by your being willing to have the spirit of God mold you into the person her wants you to be. That’s the only way to happiness and harmony in the marriage relationship. God’s intention for marriage is that to be a great blessing for both partners but it cannot come as long as you are in a state of rebellion against God.

Now you back up another step. If you are a wife who is not a Christian the spirit of God does not indwell you so he cannot control you. So there is no hope for you to function as God intends for you to function. The beginning place is faith in Jesus Christ. And if your home is to be what it ought to be you need Jesus Christ in your life controlling you through his spirit to mold you into the woman you ought to be and of course the man needs the same thing. So two question, one, does the spirit of God indwell you. You say I don’t know. The way you know is have you ever placed your fait your faith Jesus Christ as personal savior. If not you can do that right now while you are sitting there with your eyes open looking at me. You just simply transfer your trust from the church, from your baptism, from yourself; place your trust in Jesus Christ. Secondly, you may be here and in dwelt by the spirit but does the spirit control you as a Christian wife. Is it obvious that he is in control of your life by the very fact of your submissiveness to your husband? There are no exceptions. If the spirit is in control of your life in this area you will be subject not with that inner resentment and bitterness but with that willing spirit that the spirit produces and makes it such a joy to function as God intends. And when you are functioning as the wife that God created you to be and your husband is functioning as the husband that God created him to be the joy and happiness and satisfaction that grows out of that relationship is unknown by anyone apart from the work God in your life.

Let’s pray together. Father we thank you for your word lord its completeness in this very basic area of our relationship within our homes, father I pray that you will make us aware of areas where we are not in conformity to the word in our own husband wife relationships. Pray for each wife who is here today lord that each one might be open to the spirit’s ministry to them even not, lord that they might honestly consider whether they’ve been willing to have the spirit control them, to allow themselves to be made submissive to their husband in order that you might work through them even in their husband’s lives, lord I pray that our homes might indeed be a clear picture and portrayal of the relationship that Jesus Christ has with his church in order that men might be drawn to him as they see him in us, for we pray in his name, Amen.