A Man’s Roles and Responsibilities

Transcript

GRM 576
6/21/1998
Man's Roles and Responsibilities
Selected Verses
Gil Rugh

I thought would be a good time for us to reflect on what God says about husbands and fathers. Refresh our mind a little bit on the great privilege it is to be a husband and father. What does God say about the role and responsibility of a man today. We live in a day when there is a lot of confusion and discussion about the roles of men and women alike. There are certain set positions that have been established in our country, which is the focus I want to have, that do run contrary to the word of God. That creates a pressure situation for the church to maintain a biblical position when it has become politically incorrect to do so.

The Southern Baptist's recently had their convention, and they passed a resolution saying that the biblical role is for the man to be the leader in the home and the wife to submit to his leadership. That has caused something of a stir around the country. It's turned up on news programs and in printed material, and last Sunday there was an editorial carried in the Omaha World Herald. It was picked up from Memphis, Tennessee where the writer of this article is an associate professor of religious studies. That makes the article of a little more interest, having been written by a woman who is a wife and a mother I take it. It's clear here she's a wife because she begins the article by talking about a discussion over coffee in the morning with her husband. Her husband drew to her attention, guess what my husband said, the Southern Baptist passed a resolution saying wives must submit to their husband, wifely submission. I responded, why not slaves? Why don't they hold slaves too? Now that gives you an idea where the article is going.

One of the persons within the Southern Baptist convention said, "submission is not a negative word, is not a politically correct word, it is a biblically correct word". This writer in the paper goes on to say, "although based on forty-two biblical texts, the addition draws heavily from Paul's letter to the Ephesians". Forty-two biblical passages that were behind the statement at that convention made, the author of this article wants to refer to the article in Ephesians and acknowledges that the statement of the convention on the role of the husband and the wife was almost verbatim what Paul says, in writing to the Ephesians. Then she goes on to try to make a connection between if you've got to be submissive as a wife to your husband than you really ought to be consistent and say we have to have slaves today and you ought to be for slavery. It's an invalid comparison because what the scripture is saying is what your responsibility is within the marriage relationship and what your responsibility is in the slave/master relationship. It does not say you have to be married. It does not say you have to have slaves. But where that is the relationship here is how you must function. She goes on to draw an invalid comparison. If you’re saying a wife must submit to her husband you're saying we must be in favor of having slavery today. It is a non-sequitur. One does not follow on the other. The comparison is not valid.

It bothers me to hear a professor of religious studies become so strong. It was two full columns that conclude where she says, "in my family we do not lead, submit, and obey. I'm sorry if that is not Christian enough for the Southern Baptist". I don't know where this person is spiritually regarding her salvation, but I do think it's important that we as believers be clear on what the scripture says.

This idea that something is called neutral, and that's the whole thrust of the article. Slavery was culturally acceptable in Paul's day, it's not culturally acceptable today, it's not right. Submission of the wife, leadership of the husband were culturally acceptable in Paul's day, it's not acceptable today. So those things are wrong. Understand that the bible, newest portion of it was written almost 2000 years ago, and the older portions go back thousands of years before that. So, the entire bible, from Genesis to Revelation was written at a different time, in a different place, in different societies, in different cultures.

We need to be careful that we don't just decide everything that I find unpleasant or that I disagree with I'm simply going to write off as cultural and not applicable to today, and yet I'll still be able to present myself as somebody who believes in the bible, but I believe it intelligently, because I recognize that certain things don't apply today. Anybody who's really intelligent also understands that. Even when a person is trying to present themselves as of superior intelligence while they’re making an invalid analogy to discredit portions of scripture they don't care for. I think we have to be clear and particularly as the church. People have a right to say, I don't believe what the bible says, I reject what God has said in Scripture. But to pretend we believe the bible while we underhandedly reject much of what it says simply reflects a lack of integrity and basic dishonesty.

I want to walk through what the bible says about the role and responsibility of the man, particularly in the realm of being a husband and a father. That will relate to his relationship to his wife and children. And one thing I believe if we are honest we will have to say that what the bible says about the role of a man, and thus if you will, the role of a woman in these areas, is transcultural. We will find it says the same thing in the opening chapters of Genesis as it says in the writings of the New Testament. The writers of the New Testament such as Paul did not find his instruction upon the cultural situation of his day, but rather upon the work of God in creation at the very beginning. In other words, Paul says, what I have to say transcends all cultural situations, it is rooted in what God intended when He created man, when He created woman. I find great encouragement in this, because if I can go to the Creator and find out what I am to be as a man, what my responsibilities are as a husband and a father, I'm in effect reading the directions of my Maker. I have created you for this purpose. I have created you to function in this way. I created you to carry out these responsibilities and there is a satisfaction and a joy and a blessing that comes to a life that is lived in obedience to the instructions of the Maker.

Let’s begin in Genesis 2. Genesis chapters 1 and 2, unfold the work of God in creation. What we have, is in Genesis 1, you have an overview of God’s work of creation. In Genesis 2, he goes back and gives the details of the creation of man, male and female. That’s why you find such concentrated attacks on the opening chapters of Genesis. Ultimately it has noting to do with science. The opening chapters of Genesis are every bit as scientific as the theories of men today. What antagonizes men with the biblical account, it that if it is true, there is a sovereign God who has created everything, and thus rules over everything, and thus is the God to whom I am responsible and accountable.

In Genesis 2, as God unfolds the creation of man, he establishes that the basic relationship of a man is as a husband. So, the basic human relationship is between the man and his wife. Now, I’m not going to be going into the details of the single life. The bible does indicate God makes provision for the single life. In some cases, that is His intention. 1 Corinthians 7 deals with it in specific, but that is the exception not the rule. Right at the beginning let me say, we have to have this clear, we live in a day when there is a mushrooming of the single life. That is not God’s intention. And we as men, need to understand that. Because we’ll see as we move through this, it is our responsibility to take the initiative and the leadership in seeking the woman that God has for us, to be the helper suitable for us in a marriage relationship. The failure to appreciate and recognize what God’s plan is, leads to all kinds of problems, including moral difficulties, including selfish, self-centered lives. That we have no biblical reason for not being married, but I just don’t want the responsibility as a man. I rather enjoy myself, That is not one of the reasons for the single life. And now you wish this was a message on what it is to single life, it’s a message on a marriage relationship.

Look at Genesis 2:18, God has created Adam from the dust of the earth and placed him in the beauty of the garden of Eden. Then He says in verse 18 of Genesis 2, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.’” Now, you ought to mark that statement. If you’re a man, you ought to underline it as well as highlight it. Because, you understand here, that there is no sin in the world at this point. Adam has been created perfect by God, without defect. Adam enjoys a wonderful relationship with God, who is his creator. We know from later events, that God would come in the cool of the evening and talk with Adam. But God, the creator says, it is not good for man to be alone. He was not alone in the sense that he did not have his God. That he did not enjoy fellowship with God. But he did not have one who was like him, another human being that would be necessary to compliment and complete him.

So, marriage is not a second best. It’s not something for weak people who can’t make it on their own. It is God’s intention. There are exceptions, but the rule, “it is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.” So, God takes a part out of the side of Adam and constructs it into a woman. Brings the woman to the man, verse 23, “And the man said, ‘this is no bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh; . . . She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.’ For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Now, you note here, this is the most important and foundational relationship in a man’s life, and ultimately in a woman’s life. A man leaves his father and mother. My relationship with my children is not the number one relationship in my life. The relationship with my wife is. My relationship with my children will be radically altered and changed when they get married. In my case, that has happened. My relationship with my wife is permanent, till death do us part. So, this is more foundational and basic. The kids came into our relationship after we got married, and they leave the relationship in that sense, while we’re still married. I’m following God’s pattern.

Helpful for me as a man, to understand that. And to begin praying early and planning early and seeking the partner that God has for me, because it’s not good for me to be alone. I need a helper suitable for me. To be a compliment to me, will complete me.

Turn over to the New Testament, the book of Ephesians. This is the book that was referred to in the newspaper article, as just dealing with a cultural situation. We’re not going to talk about the husband’s role directly as a leader in his home, until the last area of his responsibility, but it does pervade things, as will become clear. We’re talking about the work of the Spirit in our lives as God’s people. And one of the evidences of God’s work, is our willing submission to God and to one another in the family of God. So, He has commanded us to be filled with the Spirit at the end of verse 18, in chapter 5. And that involves in verse 21, being subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Some people have stopped here and gone on to say, that means husbands should be submissive to their wives and wives to their husbands. But he goes on to explain it. Read the rest of the sentence in verse 22, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Chapter 6, children obey your parents. Verse 5 of chapter 6, slaves to your masters. There is order established. So, the wives are to be subject to their own husbands as to the Lord. Then note what he says in regarding husbands who have been given the responsibility of having oversight of their wives. Verse 25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Then he gives the example of how Christ totally sacrificed Himself, going to the cross in order that He might make the church His bride, all that God intended it to be. There was no holding back in the love He demonstrated for us. He totally gave of Himself for our good.

That’s the kind of love, I as a husband am to have to my wife. Verse 28, “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife lives himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh.” I saw in yesterday’s paper, that some poor soul has written a book, The Ten Commandments of Self-esteem. Blinded, lost, I mean, what I really need, is to focus more on myself. You understand, nobody ever hated himself in spite of all the foolishness going around. I can think of a thousand reasons why I need to love me more. And I could add another thousand why you ought to love me more. Then I can add two thousand to that, why Marilyn should love me more. Because I just love me. “No one ever hated his own flesh.” That’s God’s statement it, no matter what people tell us. “Nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.” Did we not read that in Genesis? What Paul is writing, has nothing to do with a certain cultural setting at a limited period of time in a certain place. This is rooted in God the creator’s plan in creating a man and creating a woman and enjoining them in marriage.

So, if you choose not to believe the bible, you can do that. But I really get disturbed by the foolishness that goes on by people who claim they believe the bible, but just have come to an intellectual and scholarly appreciation, that certain parts of it, you know, that was written of a certain period, of a certain time and is not true for us. This goes back to the beginning. Moses recorded that 1500 years before Paul wrote this, and he was recording something that happened a long period of time before he came on the scene.
Verse 33, “Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself.”

Turn over a couple of books to Colossians. Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians chapter 3:19. We did some details on these relationships when we studied Colossians not too long ago. Let me just pick up verse 19, “Husband, love your wives, and do not be embittered against them.” True love rules out my becoming embittered against my wife. Note here, there is responsibility placed upon me as a man. Nothing is too demanding for me to give, in love of my wife. I have to be careful as a man, I may become embittered, that means I’m no longer functioning in love, but resentment comes in. Bitterness develops. Sit with someone who’s marriage is breaking up, and we’re not in love anymore. You know, it’s amazing, a husband can say, you know she doesn’t do this, she doesn’t do that. You know, I have to say, there are times when I chafe under what God tells me. He says, husbands love your wife. When I come home, I’m irritated, she should know I don’t like it when she wares that. She should know when I come home, I don’t want to be hassled right away. And God said, Gil, love you wife. And right now, I just want to tell her what’s on my mind, and I’ll love her later. And you know, I chafe under what God says. And I justify it, because I’ve told her before, and she ought to know, we’ve been married for a while. I can’t remember, but it’s been a while. I can’t remember because it’s flown by, seems just like a couple of days. And you know, I’ve become bitter. You know what happens? That seethes on the inside of me, pretty soon, we’re growing a little farther apart. And I’m responsible, I’ve developed resentment, I’m not doing what I should. I know what I should do. And I should take my attention off myself and focus it on her and do what I know would be good for her. And she would prophet from and enjoy. But I don’t want to. But if I don’t deal with it, I soon find myself in trouble. Because my rebellion against the word, begins to entangle me. I get further apart, and it’s harder for me to do what I should do in expressing love to her and making her the priority of my life. Because really, if I’m going to love her as Christ loved the church, I’m willing to give everything, and all for her. And if she never did anything for me, that wouldn’t change me, would it? If I’m loving her as Christ loved the church? That’s the basic relationship I have as a man, it’s as a husband. And my responsibility in that role, is the priority of my wife, she comes before my children. Comes before any other person. You say, well what about between her and your God? When I’m loving her as Christ loved the church, there’s no conflict there. I sometimes want to create it, so that I’m more comfortable in not doing what I should do, to love her and not be embittered.

The follow up role in relationship I have, is as a father. Naturally following through in the marriage relationship. Again, there may be times when God’s will is, that a person have a single life. There may be times in God’s plan, where He brings a man and a woman together, but He does not provide children in that relationship. But in the normal pattern and flow, His plan is for children. And children were a plan from the beginning. You know, it’s easy after you’re married and have children, to think that the children are a result of the fall. You know, sometimes you need those refrigerator magnets, children are not a result of the fall, ha ha. Because in Genesis 1:28, God said, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.” That was before the fall into sin occurred. So, if Adam and Eve had never sinned, they would have had a marriage relationship together, and out of that relationship would have come children. So, it was God’s intention from the beginning, that he establish a family, a husband and wife would become a father and a mother, as children would come. You’re maybe still in Colossians 3, look at verse 21, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart.” As a father, in carrying out my role, I have responsibilities given to me. But I need to carry them out in a way that I don’t crush my children. That I don’t cause them to despair and give up.

Look over in Ephesians 6, back up a couple of books to Ephesians again. Ephesians 6:4, “And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” We all have a concern with people who hear part of what the scripture says, and then run to carry it out in an unbiblical way. They hear that wives are to be submissive to husbands, and so there are men who think they’re sole role is to be sure their wife knows whose boss. They hear about fathers being responsible for the discipline of their children, and so they think that means, no matter what, these kids are going to do what I say, and fail to carry out their responsibility as God has clearly set it forth.

Fathers are not to provoke their children to anger but are to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. My role as a father, involves the oversight of my family. We’ll touch on that a little bit later. The care for my wife and loving of her. For the oversight of the children, this does not exclude the role of my wife by any means, she plays a key part in this area. But ultimate responsibility rests with me. And in a sense, we have that plaque, the buck stops here, in the sense, you’re to blame, you’re accountable, you’re responsible. That includes the discipline of the children. Seeing that they are raised with proper discipline and instruction in the Lord. It shouldn’t be the wife who’s trying to get the family here on Sunday, for example. It may be true if your husband is an unbeliever. If I am a godly man, part of my leadership, I want my children where they will learn the word. I want to model for them, the importance of godliness. In our home and in our activities and so on. And physical discipline comes into it.

Back up to Proverbs. We have to look at these verses quickly. You know, we live in a day where we have lost all concept of common sense. I just read a book that made that point as well. Mentioning, in our society, we have lost any commonsense functioning, so everything is left to law and to the courts. And the days when I was a child, if I did something wrong in the neighborhood, and the father who lived two doors back of us saw me doing something wrong, he’d grab me by the collar. Here I’d come down the sidewalk to my house. You know, my dad didn’t come out of the house and say, take your hands off my kid. My father would come out of the house and say, what did he do? When that man was dragging me down the sidewalk, I wasn’t afraid of the neighbor man, I was afraid of where we were going. Because when he explained to my father what I did, my father didn’t say, I’m going to sue you for putting your hands on my kid, he said, thank you for being interested, I’ll take care of it. That was bad! I wish we were going to the court, we weren’t, we were going to the room. Things have changed today. And you know, the world tells us you don’t discipline children. I thought it was interesting that this lady concluded her article regarding their family. We do not lead, submit and obey. That’s too bad. And I wonder how the children come through that. The scripture is clear, there must be discipline in the home. And ultimately the father is responsible for that.

Proverbs 13:24, we looked at some of these recently in our study of church discipline. Proverbs 13:24, “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” You see how the world is totally turned this around? They say that parents who really love their children, don’t discipline them, particularly don’t use physical discipline. They turn around and say just the opposite of what God says. I as a father, need to realize that God says, if I spare the rod, I hate my son. Does that mean I go out and get a 2X4 and beat my child silly? Obviously not. We’ve lost any view of common sense today. I mean, when I would go out and the kids would say, what happened when your dad found out? They gave me a good beating. They didn’t say, oh you still got your teeth. It never crossed their mind that meant he knocked my teeth out or broke my bones. They knew what happened. They probably heard me for streets down, screaming. What happened? The belt was applied at the proper place. It was a little red there. I didn’t show them, but it was. Why? He loved me. When you love your child, you discipline him diligently.

Faithfulness as a father. He doesn’t come home from work and say, I’m too tired, I don’t want to be bothered. I don’t tell my wife, you know, I’m tired, I’ve had a hard day, can’t you discipline the kids once? No, I’m responsible here.

Look over into chapter 19, be careful we don’t get carried away here. Verse 18, something we as father’s ought to take to heart, “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death. You know, it’s destructive for a child to be left to themselves. Do I really love my child? I don’t discipline him for me, I discipline him for him.

Hebrews tells us we had earthly fathers who disciplined us for our good, and God disciplines us for our good. Now, His discipline is perfect and it is always for our good. I made mistakes with my discipline, but the intention in my discipline was always for their good. Not because I got satisfaction out of giving them a spanking. No, because it was good for them to learn there are consequences for doing wrong. You are responsible for your actions.

Chapter 22:15, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” We understand this because children are depraved. They are born with a sin nature. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child. You ever notice, you don’t have to tell 2-year old’s to get into trouble? Just turn them loose. The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. I have to say, I’ve come to the conclusion in reading proverbs, that that is not saying the only kind of discipline there can ever be is physical discipline, like a spanking. But I am saying, you really can not raise a child biblically without this form of discipline being involved at some stage. I realize children are different, respond differently. One child, all you have to do is look at them and they are in tears and repentance. Other children you spank, and spank and it seems like they’ll wear you out before you get them corrected. But the rod of discipline will remove the foolishness.

Now, I have to be consistent and diligent. And I as a man, have to realize this, well, you know, I really give them a good spanking when they interrupt the sports program. You know, when I’m really riled. No, I don’t want to discipline them when I’m riled, because often then I’m discipling them because of the satisfaction I get out of the release of anger and I’m upset. I would discipline them diligently because they’ve done wrong. This is the right thing at this occasion.

Chapter 23:13, “Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you beat him with the rod, he will not die.. You beat him with the rod and deliver his soul from Sheol.”

Chapter 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.” Verse 17, “Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; he will also delight your soul.” You ought to note the next verse, verse 18, “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, but happy is he who keeps the law.” Where there is no vision, refers to revelation from God. And where people do not have the truth of God, and they are not living in obedience to it, the people are unrestrained. That’s true in your home. It’s true in our society now as well too. On the one hand, we’re wringing our hands, we don’t know what to do. I watched a program a couple of weeks ago, a pastor and his wife who were arrested because they spanked their daughter. The daughter was taken out of the home and put into a foster home. Interviewed both of the parents and the daughter, and the daughter said my parents are very loving. She didn’t see what they had done wrong, how terrible to be taken from their home. Somehow, you know, in our society, any common sense is gone.

All this to say, that fathers are responsible for the discipline in their homes. That doesn’t mean the mother can’t discipline. But ultimate accountability for it, and there is something about the weight of the father’s authority. The worst thing in my life was when I did something wrong while my dad was at work, and my mother said, go to your room and wait until your dad gets home. I can remember begging her to giving me a spanking. Go ahead mom, you know, it will really hurt when you do it. And if she went ahead and did it, I acted like it really did. But the worst was no you go and wait until your dad gets home. You know what happened when I would hear my dad pull up? The door would open, and he’d come in and give my mother a hug. I’d open the door and come out of the bedroom and say, hi, hoping my mother would let it go. She’d say, you were supposed to wait in your room. And my dad, oh, what’s wrong? He did this, (points to my room) in comes dad. Turn over, I wouldn’t turn over, you didn’t hear my side. You don’t have a side. I’ve shared these things with you, they were indelibly impressed on my mind. I’m 55, I still haven’t forgotten. My dad’s influence in this world. Your mother is right, even when she’s wrong. I think my dad flunked logic. It made perfect sense. I will never win, with my mother. I never had a side. It wasn’t, well, he’s the judge, he comes and hears what my mother says, he hears what I have to say, and then he decides who was right. Nope, he comes and hears what my mother has to say and decides she’s right. You know what I learned? I can’t win. Good lesson to learn isn’t it? Fathers, bring you children into the discipline and admonition of the Lord.

Turn back to Genesis. This role, not only as a husband, not only as a father, but as a provider for his home. Interesting, in Genesis, when God created Adam, before He created Eve, He took him, verse 8 of Genesis 2, “And the Lord god planted a garden toward the east, in Eden; and there He placed the man whom He had formed.” He created the beautiful, perfect garden of Eden. He created the man, Adam, then He placed him in the garden. Verse 15, “Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.” It was God’s intention that the man would be active. He would have responsibility and things to do, even before sin came into the world. What happened, when sin comes into the world? The duties of man became difficult and painful. So, after the fall, God says to Adam, in chapter 3:17, halfway through that verse, “Cursed is the ground because of you; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field; by the sweat of your face, you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, because from it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” The point is, that man now, will grind out his living. It would be hard toilsome work, culminating in his death. That doesn’t mean there are never any people anywhere who are born to a privileged life, who have more money than they will ever need, and never work, but they are the rare exceptions. They usually don’t find real satisfaction in their life, ever with their abundance. The general rule is, it’s hard work.

We as men need to realize that because our society tells us, again the opposite of scripture, work ought to be fun. If you don’t really enjoy your job, quit. I’m not saying you have to have a job and stick with it. If you can take a job that you would enjoy more, or find more satisfaction, fine. But that’s not the criteria, man is to work. You may have to work hard and long. Be nice if you had a job that paid you $100 an hour. Maybe your job pays you $6 an hour, then you have to work two jobs. Well, I may have to work harder than someone else, but I still realize it’s part of God’s plan. I work hard. Our world delights in attacking workaholics and ridiculing men who are job focused. Well, that’s true. If you’re working because you want to drive a nicer car and live in a bigger house, and wear better cloths and take more expensive vacations, and there is a selfishness about it, true, that’s not biblical. But the fact that a man has to work long hard hours to provide food and clothing and shelter, is no shame. He’s not detracting from his children. We’re seeing a man who desires to be godly and loving his family, paying a sacrifice to provide for them.

Let me say something here with men as providers. We need to be careful. Men and boys are known for their toys. Those men end up being great spenders. I think if this comes in, we need to be a provider for my family, being wise, being responsible. I can joke about the women; they like to spend. Marilyn delights to go at sale time and find three articles of clothing for 75% off. And I joke about all the clothes she buys. What I like to do, is go buy a car. But I only bought one car, and she bought three items of cloths. But the clothes she bought, doesn’t fill the gas tank once. We need to be careful. Men dabble in this and dabble in that. Not only providing for my family, but being wise as the one who is responsible in this area for my family doesn’t mean the wife might not take care of the books and write the checks. She may be better at that. But ultimately, I am responsible. Men become very childish. I get a car magazine, of course and there is a place that sells exotic kind of cars in another state. What is it? It’s entitled, Toys for Boys! And, you know, we can be that way. We need to be very aware of our responsibility in providing for our family. We’re in an area here, of responsibility and accountability.

There are many passages in Provers about hard work. A sluggard can’t hardly make himself role over in bed. Almost seems like too much trouble to get his hand to his mouth. And look at the ant, how hard it works. We appreciate the bible does honor hard work. But it does also condemn covetousness and the pursuit of riches. We as men, need to be aware of our responsibility.

The book of Ecclesiastes and let me just take you there quickly because this relates. There are other times we’ve gone through the passages on work and so on from there, you can get the tapes on that. I want to acknowledge the bible makes clear, there is an emptiness, a futility, a hopelessness if you will, in our responsibility as men, in working and providing for our family. The work we do may not seem to have, in and of itself any real value. Ecclesiastes was written by Solomon, one of the wealthiest and the wisest man who ever lived. Ecclesiastes 1:2, “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What advantage does man have in all his work which he does under the sun? A generation goes and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever.” In other words, what difference does it make? It’s all empty, it’s all futile, I’m not accomplishing anything. Beat my head against the wall, drag myself out of bed, go to a meaningless, purposeless job, work all day, drag myself home, get in bed, get up in the morning and do the same thing, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, for what? So, maybe I can retire. Maybe I won’t. Maybe by the time I get to that point, this old body won’t be much good for doing anything anyway.

Down in verse 13 of Ecclesiastes 1, look at the middle of the verse for time, “it is a grievous task which God has given to the sons of men to be afflicted with. I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after the wind.” Nothing accomplished. Later on, this man would amass the greatest wealth in the world at the time, along with the greatest wisdom by the grace of God. People came from all over the world to be exposed to his riches and his wealth. And he said, I looked at it all and it was meaningless. And this just comes on again and again in the book of Ecclesiastes. We as men need to remember the end of Ecclesiastes 12:1, “Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, ‘I have no delight in them’”. Look at verse 13, “The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgement, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.” I need as a man, to have my perspective proper. I serve a living God. I someday will stand before Him and give an account for my life. I am doing what I do in providing for my family and on and on, not because this job has any real purpose in and of itself, it may be seeming dead end and meaningless, but because I devote myself to carrying out what the living God has given me to do. I do it for Him. I do it for His glory. I do it to be faithful to Him. I do it to carryout responsibilities He has given to me.

The world gets focused, because they have no meaning outside of this life, so this job takes them nowhere. And you know, the roads of this are endless. Men get to be 50 and what? They hit mid-life crises. They’ve come to realize, chapter 12:1, “Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, ‘I have no delight in them.’” This is not a new phenomenon. You get to the point where you say, my life is going nowhere. I’m on a treadmill that has no purpose. And I’m getting old, my wife is getting old, I’m bailing out. I’m getting a new job; I’m getting a new woman and I’m getting a new car. And here I go, swish. Idiot, that’s not the answer. How many of these men, 5 years later are sitting in a worse misery? Hey, remember your Creator in the days of your youth. Remember you will give an account to Him. Remember life must be shaped by Him. Real meaning and purpose are not in the things of this life, but in the God that we serve and the goal that He has established and the reward that He has promised. Even I, as a believer, when I lose my focus on that, I’ll begin to drift like the world does. And then we try to provide the world’s solutions to live in a fantasy world.

I was interested in the new movies out, I haven’t seen them, but I read the writeups. All these new movies that are out that have all these aging movie stars, the men, are my age. All these women, half their age, are falling madly in love. Even the world realizes the foolishness. Here’s a guy my age, he’s in his mid to late 50’s. 20-year-old women are falling all over themselves in the movie over him. That’s not happening to me, let me tell you. But every 50- and 60-year-old man thinks, for some reason, he’s come into a region of irresistibility. I keep reminding Marylin, I am that man. She says, yes dear, you are, I just think you’re wonderful. Somehow, I think she’s humoring me, but that’s fine, makes our marriage go. But you know, that becomes a world of reality for people. Pretty soon, men begin to think like this. I as a man need to have my life anchored in the Word.

Well, one other area I want to pick up. The main area of responsibility, I’m a husband, I’m a father, I’m a provider, I’m a leader or protector in my home. A leader and protector. And you know, this is where the rub comes. Nobody has any problem talking about a man being a husband. Although the world today says you don’t find your meaning. You have to keep your own identity. You keep a separate identity, so much for what God says, the two become one. Oh no, no, no! You don’t want to invest your life in your husband. You don’t want to invest your life in your wife. The two must be separate and you must keep your separate identity. You have to have a separate sense of worth, and on we go. All a rejection of what God says, what His plan is. I am the leader or protector of my home. Both go together, there’s a little bit of a different idea of provider and protector go together. I put leader and protector, because the leadership of my home means that I am also responsible for its condition.

The husband is the leader in the home. I realize this is unpopular today. We have egalitarianism, egalitarianism is, we are all the same, equal. And equal means the same. And as I read in the article, you know, nobody submits, nobody obeys, we’re all the same. Yet Genesis 2, I want you to note something, then we have to jump to the New Testament, then we will be done. Genesis 2:18, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” We’ll jump to the New Testament, but I want you to note, the order of creation here. It’s not related to culture. God created Adam first, and then He created Eve. That becomes important thousands of years later, when Paul writes, he will say the fact that God created Adam first, indicates that God intended Adam to be the leader. Secondly, God made the woman for the man, not the man for the woman. That means God intends the man to be the leader, that was His intention when He created them. This becomes important because there are even people in the evangelical church today who are saying, well that was all true before the cross. But after the cross, all these things that are associated with sin, have been washed clean by Christ. Now in Christ, there is neither male or female, Jew or Gentile, slave or free. Again, its not a valid analogy in comparison. It’s true, we don’t relate to God according to our sex, according to our nationality, according to our position in life as a master or a slave. That’s not a factor in our relating to God. But that doesn’t mean it does away with all the relationships that were established, even in creation. The order that God established for the man and the woman, the husband and the wife, is not related to sin. The negative dimensions are a result of sin, but the order established goes back to what God intended when He created them before sin ever came into the picture.

Turn over to 1 Timothy. Someone came into my class just as we were beginning, to say that a church where some family members go, had just called a female pastor. It’s an unbiblical position, can not be supported biblically. Turn to 1 Timothy 2, Paul is clear, verse 12 of 1 Timothy 2, “But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.” Boy, that really is a popular verse today. It grates on us. You know why? We don’t want to hear what God has to say. How do they allow for women pastors? This is cultural. You know why Paul said this? Well, it related to the day. In that day, women were not expected to teach men and lead men. So, Christians had to be careful that they didn’t violate their culture. But that’s not true today, so we don’t need to be concerned about that.

Some other evangelical leaders have hypothesized, the real problem was, the women at Ephesus had no education. Since they didn’t have any education, they weren’t in a good position to teach men and lead them. But now, we have women who are educated, so they can teach and lead. You know the problem with all of that? Paul tells you why a woman is not allowed to lead the man or to be the teacher of the man. Verse 13, it’s not so difficult. Read the next verse. “For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.” He doesn’t say, because of the situation at Ephesus, or because of the culture that exists in the Roman Empire. He said it’s because of what God intended when He made a man and when He made a woman. “And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into transgression.” The things that happened with the fall, further substantiated this. So, we’re all the way back crossing cultures to the beginning when God created, when the fall into sin occurred. That’s why I say, it’s transcultural. These things aren’t culturally related.

Red flags ought to go up all over the place, when people are saying, well you can’t really believe that today, that was cultural. Let me explain it to you. There’s a certain condescension as you read these articles, as though someone with a little superior intelligence and scholarly insight is explaining to you how it really is, so you don’t have to be an ignorant fundamentalist, holding to a literal interpretation of these things. Which is another way of saying, let us explain away the scriptures, so that you’re free to do as you please, rather than what God says.

1 Corinthians 11, and we will have to be done. Verse 3 of 1 Corinthians 11, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” There is order even among the persons of the godhead. And quite frankly, my understanding is, that there will be order all through eternity. Because after the millennium, we move into eternity, 1 Corinthians 15 says, that Christ will turn everything over to the Father, that the Father may be all in all. He will have the place of supremacy. My understanding, before Christ came to earth, there seems to be order in the godhead. When the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, does not imply superiority of person in anyway. We talk about the man being the leader, we’re not saying he is superior in person to the woman. We’re saying, in the order of things, God has established an order. The reasons given, 1 Corinthians 11, look at verse 8, “For the man does not originate from woman, but woman from man.; for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but the woman for the man’s sake.” Where do we go? We go back to creation. I get frustrated with these cultural arguments that say the scripture doesn’t say that it’s cultural. Scripture says it’s creational. The sovereign God intended it this way. I don’t mind, the world says I reject it, it bothers me when those who claim to be believers so undermine the scripture and corrupt it so that they can make the church look like the world.

We haven’t had time to conclude with showing the man has responsibility to bring his family along in the things of the world. Deuteronomy 6, that we are to raise up our children, instructed in the things of the Lord, grounded in the scripture, modeling truth. Genesis 18 says concerning Abraham, God speaks and says that He had called him so that he might lead his children after Him.

A great responsibility gives to us as men. Great blessing and privilege, we are called to serve the living God and carrying out the roles and responsibilities He’s given to us as men. May God use us to model godliness in each area that is entrusted to us as men who are servants of the living God.

Let’s pray together. Thank You Lord, for the richness of Your word. Thank You, that You are the sovereign God, who rules over all. Thank You for the wonder of Your salvation that cleanses and forgives and makes us new. Lord, I pray for each man who is here today. Pray for those who have not yet come into the salvation which is in Christ. Lord, may they they do that which is so difficult for us as sinners, and so hard for us as a sinful man; that is to humble ourselves before You. Acknowledge we are sinners; we are unworthy and undeserving. Indeed, we have failed in our obedience to You. Lord, may we lay claim by faith, to the fact that Jesus Christ, Your Son, loved us and died for us. Lord, may we as men, take seriously what the scripture says is our role and responsibility. Lord, may the Spirit convict us regarding the excuses that we have built up in our lives, for being anything less than what You have declared we must be. Lord, we rejoice to know that Your will is always best, it is always the way of blessing. You always provide, through the gracious ministry of the Spirit, sufficient strength and enablement to be obedient to Your word. We give You the praise, in Christ’s name. Amen.