Love That Characterizes the Believer

Transcript

GR 2305
02/14/2021
Love that Characterizes the Believer
Ephesians 1-5; 1 Corinthians 13:1-8
Gil Rugh


We've been talking about love, and I want to go to 1 Corinthians 13, if you want to go there. My intention along the way was to fit in 1 Corinthians 13 and look at some of the details here. We've come into this chapter because we've talked about love off and on the last couple of weeks as we prepare for a study in the book of Ephesians. And we noted that one of the key words in Ephesians is the word ‘love,’ used twenty times in the book of Ephesians. And I think in our day, and every day, but especially for us today where so much of the emphasis on love has been transferred into a feeling, some kind of thinking, that we lose the perspective on what biblical love is. And it is the most foundational thing for us to understand as believers because the foundational evidence that you are a child of God is that you manifest the love of God in your relationship with other believers in particular. In fact Jesus said by this shall all men know that you are My disciples if you have love toward one another. John recorded that in his gospel, then he recorded it in his first epistle and said if you don't love the children of God, you are not a child of God. Don't want to say it as though it's the only identifying mark of a believer, because it is not, but it is the foundational mark.

Without this evidence in your life, there is no reason to believe you are truly a believer in the biblical sense. So you have to have a biblical view of love. Love is not a feeling, as we are talking about. We are talking about the ‘agape’ love or ‘agapao’ love, used as a noun and a verb, it will be used both ways in Ephesians. It's a self-sacrificing love; the epitome of it is the love that God had for us. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son in order that whosoever believes in Him might not perish but have everlasting life. This is the demonstration of God's love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. You see, God's love for us was an action. Doesn't say God felt this way about us, it's what He did for us, He acted on our behalf. When we place our faith in Jesus Christ, the provision that God made for us in love, then we are born again, God makes us new on the inside. 1 Peter puts it we become partakers of the divine nature, not that we become deity, we don't become gods, but the very character of God now is produced in us.

Turn over to Galatians 5, in Galatians 5 we are drawing a contrast between a believer and an unbeliever. An unbeliever is characterized by the works of the flesh, the things done out of a sinful heart because it is out of the heart that is deceitful and desperately wicked above all things that comes the conduct of an unbeliever. Jesus noted that in Mark 7, He said it is out of the heart that come all kinds of sin, it's what we are within. So Paul in Galatians 5 makes note in verse 13, “You were called to freedom, brethren, only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve,” and that word ‘serve’ a form of the word to be a slave, serve as a slave, “one another,” through love, out of love. God set us free from slavery to sin so that we could now serve Him. We are to serve as slaves of one another in love, and this gives us a key aspect: love is doing what is good and best for the other person. That's what God did for us, there was nothing in it for Him, so to speak, He was complete in Himself, we added nothing to God, we added no value to Him. The whole concept that was popular for a while, we are so valuable God had His Son die for us, is the exact opposite of what the Scripture says. Scripture says we were worthless and still God had His Son die for us. We'll see that as we move along.

He talks about, verse 16, “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh,” and the flesh wars against the Spirit, the Spirit against the flesh. The conduct that's consistent with an ungodly life is laid out, we won't read through all those things, in verses 19-21, but come to verse 22. Here is the fruit of the Spirit, this is what the Spirit produces in the life of one who has been made new, who has been born again, who has become a child of God. “The fruit of the Spirit,” note what we have first: “love.” Love becomes an identifying mark of one who is God's child. That's why 1 John says that the children of God love the other children of God, and if you don't love the children of God you are not a child of God. And we don't want to reduce that to a feeling about one another, it is action. Feelings have a place, but he is talking about actions, and godly actions will produce the right feelings to go with it over time.

“The fruit of the Spirit is love,” and you'll note these things because they are going to come up in the discussion we have in 1 Corinthians 13 and Paul's instructions. “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” This is consistent with what God's will for us is. “Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions,” that's why we live differently, we conduct our lives differently. That's why 1 John says that by this the children of the devil and the children of God are obvious, those who practice sin are of the devil, those who practice righteousness are children of God. It's a righteousness that comes from being made new on the inside, of having the Spirit of God who now dwells within the body of the believer, produces the very character of God in our lives. Important that we see the seriousness of this.

Come back to 1 Corinthians 13. Paul's concerned for the Corinthians, before he is done writing to them he'll say I am concerned for you. You need to examine yourself to see if you are truly believers because something is wrong, there is too much evidence of the flesh in what is going on among you as a church, the supposed body of believers. Examine yourself, put yourself under the searchlight of Scripture to see, because very important as we are going to see, you can do a lot of good things, right things and end up in hell. Jesus said many on the judgment day will say to Me, Lord, Lord, we did many wonderful things in Your name and He'll say I never knew you, depart from Me. It is important that we have a clear picture and understanding.

You'll note this chapter 13, most of you have studied 1 Corinthians a number of times. Chapter 12 ended in verse 31, he is talking about spiritual gifts, what enables the body of Christ, believers brought together as a local church, to function harmoniously together. The picture is the parts of our body, just like they go together to make one body, so we as we fellowship and minister together grow as all the parts make their contribution. He told them in verse 31, “Earnestly desire the greater gifts.” Then he said, “I show you a still more excellent way.” That more excellent way is love which is foundational to everything we do. Then you come to chapter 14, it opens up, “Pursue love, yet earnestly desire spiritual gifts.” So you see the connection back to 1 Corinthians 12:31, “Earnestly desire the greater gifts;” 1 Corinthians 14:1 says, “Desire earnestly spiritual gifts.” But the end of 1 Corinthians 12:31 said “I show you a still more excellent way,” and then he'll pick that up with 1 Corinthians 14:1, “love.” That has to be behind what you are doing or the exercising of a “gift” is not really something motivated by the Spirit of God, it just becomes a physical activity.

So he opens in these first three verses of chapter 13 showing the importance of love. If you do not have biblical love for other believers, whatever else you do is wasted and worthless, and you are a big nothing. You say, that's not nice to say, but it's what he says, look at the end of verse 2, “I am nothing.” Note three times, starting with verse 1, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,” we're just going to highlight these. We did a series of four studies on these thirteen verses in chapter 13, you can access those if you want more detail, we'll just overview. “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love,” that expression “but do not have love” will be repeated in verse1, verse 2 and verse 3. If I would have the gift of eloquence and speaking, eloquence is the ability to speak and communicate, be gifted greatly in that, but not have love, I'm a noisy gong, a clanging cymbal, I'm just making noise, it's not accomplishing anything. Now I could join the musicians, give me the cymbals, I'll bang them together, but it's not contributing anything. That's what he says, you are just making noise, it doesn't matter how eloquent you are in your speaking, no matter what your gifts might seem to be.

Verse 2, “If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and I have all faith.” I have tremendous gifts and I have an understanding and insight, my faith is so great that as Jesus said if you have faith like a mustard seed you could move a mountain. Paul referred to that, “so as to remove mountains,” that's a great faith, great insight, understanding, “but do not have love, I am nothing.” That's God's judgment and evaluation. This is serious, I could stand up and teach the Word and seem to have such insights and be able to communicate so effectively, and when it comes to be judged by God He says you are nothing. Wait a minute. “If I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned,” if I make the greatest sacrifices, and “do not have love, it profits me nothing.” Do we understand how important this issue of love is as an identifying mark of a believer? And it is humbling. Every time I work through this list of 15 plus 1 things, 16, I have to say, I hit areas and I say I need more work there. So we're not talking about perfection here, but we never cease striving for perfection in this area. And if this biblical love is not evident in our lives, we ought to back up and say why would I claim I am a believer? We're talking about relationships here. We're going to have 15 words, 15 verbs to describe love. You know verbs are action words, remember back to your grammar days, they are the action word. You have a subject, then you have the verb, then you have the object, and that verb is the action word, it is doing something. It is interesting, all 15 of these, really 16 but usually the commentators note 15 plus 1 because the 1 almost is a summary on its own, but it is also a verb.

All in the present tense which indicates they are characteristics of our lives, not something that was characteristic of us in the past or will be in the future, these are things we now do. Not feel, not think – do -- they are actions that we do, that's important and it is liberating. One thing I am reminded of as I work through these things, these are things that I am responsible and accountable to God for. These are things He holds me accountable to be doing. In a way that liberates me. I can't control what you do, I can't control what somebody else does, but by God's grace and His provision of the Spirit in making me new I can do what He requires of me, that sets me free. We sometimes think I can't love them, you know what they do, you know how they treat me, you know what they said. What does that have to do with my responsibility? So it's a very liberating thing when we come to deal with this before God. So the point is not to go through a list like this so I can examine someone else and say that's where… Me, I need to sit down, and each one of these, check how am I.

So let's just walk through these things, I'll share some of what others say about them, some of the definitions they give of these verbs. I want to say and want to ask just about me, is this me? And I might be a believer and if it's not… Paul is concerned about the Corinthians, they need to clean up their act; they have conflict and divisions and arrogance and everything else going on. It's all contrary to love. You don't want to have written over the Corinthian church ‘it's a big nothing.’ What did it accomplish? Nothing. What were the rewards for it? Nothing. Don't want to be that. That's why Paul started out this: if I do not have love, if I do not have love. Now let's be sure we understand what love is. “Love is patient.” What he is going to do, these 15 +1, he'll talk about positive characteristics of love, he'll talk about negative characteristics that are not true of love, so both from the positive side and the negative side, and you'll see they blend together and often connect to one another.

“Love is patient.” Here is what different Greek commentators and how they identify the word and explain it. It refers to the temperament that patiently accepts injuries without desire for revenge. Literally, the word is a compound word, it means ‘long-tempered,’ it puts up with people. We sometimes think what they did excuses my impatience, my losing patience, that's the very thing love doesn't do. Love is patient, it enables the person under the control of the Spirit of God to put up with being provoked, injustices, being treated unfairly. I can handle it, it's going to go on, it's part of life in a fallen world, it's part of living with believers who are imperfect. Now that doesn't mean that's okay for people, a believer, to treat another believer unjustly, unfairly. Remember we're talking about our individual behavior, what is my response to that. Now if the way they treated me was sinful, that's an issue between them and God; if I respond to their sinful conduct with sin, now we are both in trouble -- it's not complicated. It's not necessarily easy when you are mistreated and one Greek commentator who specializes in the Greek words and their uses noted this, this word in the New Testament always, always describes patience with people and not patience with circumstances. Not that we don't need to be patient with circumstances, but this word always focuses on being patient with other people. It's like the Corinthian church, that was their problem and that's what challenges us in our relationships.

Patient with people, this is one of the fruit of the Spirit along with love, we read in Galatians 5:22ff there. Love is patient, so we see, what is love? It is patient, it is characteristic of God. In Romans 2 Paul warns the Jewish unbelievers, be careful, the patience of God is to lead you to repentance; if you refuse to repent and sin against His patience, a day of judgment will come. He is a patient God. 2 Peter 3, the same thing, God is patient, not willing that any should perish, 2 Peter 3:9 and in that section. God is patient. If He is patient and I am His child, a partaker of the divine nature, having His Spirit dwelling in me producing God's character (the Spirit being God), what should you see in me in my relationships? Patience. We're all patient with people who just deal with us the way we would always want to be dealt with and always are thinking… of course. You need patience when something is happening that you need to be long-tempered, you have to put up with something that is not pleasant. Love is patient.

“Love is kind.” Put that together with patience and it often does and is. That's another fruit of the Spirit. Patience, it deals with others in kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding. Remember Paul told Titus to remind the believers to be patient with rulers and the world around them. Remember that we were just like them, and God was patient with us and His patience continues. He's been patient with me even with my failures as His child. Love is kind, there is a kindness to the patience. It's just not: I don't have any choice, I guess I have to put up with it. No, there is a kindness, there is an understanding. Not excusing the sin, but realizing -- Proverbs reminds us of that -- remember you at times treated people improperly, you said things you shouldn't say. There is an understanding; doesn't excuse sin, but we want to help other people. A life of love puts itself at the disposal of others. This word ‘kind,’ this one Greek commentator notes at root means ‘useful’; I want to be useful for you, that's what kindness is. Not thinking about yourself. There may be a situation where I need patience with you, but I want to deal with it. Like Galatians, where if you see a fellow-Christian overtaken in a fault, in a sin, seek to restore such a one. But we want to do it with meekness, with understanding how to be helpful to them, not focused on what that did to me. We'll get to it in Ephesians 4:32 where we are told to be kind, and there is our word, “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other.” You see the words that go together, sort of a connected string here. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you.” How kind He was in dealing with me, tenderhearted, in my sin, in my offenses against Him He didn't shut the door and say I'm done with him. No, He kept reaching out to me, drawing me, forgave me. It's used of God in several passages but we don't have time to look at those any further.

He goes on, you know what he does here, he says “Love is patient, love is kind,” now he is going to switch to negative, let's talk about what love is not. And the next eight qualities are actions, we'll talk about what love is not, then he'll come back to what love is. The Spirit of God directing Paul to write this because the Corinthians need to think this through carefully. And then it has been preserved because we need to think it through. Most of the difficulties we've come to as a congregation comes with a breakdown here. We say, well, we are human, and we are, but we're more than human now, we are children of God, we have the Holy Spirit. So love “is not jealous,” love “is not jealous.” It's a word, basically it means to have zeal, to boil, like you boil water. It could be used in a good sense and a bad sense. Christ drove the moneychangers out and it fulfilled a verse of the Old Testament, the zeal for Your house has consumed Me, something passionate in a good sense. But it's used often in a derogatory sense, like jealousy, envy, displeasure. This is other people doing well. We have this pervading our society, it’s with all that is going on, not only in our country but the world, it creates social conflict. These people have it and I deserve it, this race has it and I deserve it, this is unjust, and we play one against the other. It pervades all areas because it's about me, I riot in the streets because it's about me, I'm not getting my share, I'm not being treated fairly, people aren't thinking about me, not taking care of me. Now we need to be careful. Remember Romans 12:1 in out study? Don't allow the world to press you into its mold, to shape you in your thinking and conduct. Love is happy when others do better. Now that's a demonstration of love. I'm struggling to pay the bills and I just got laid off and you got a promotion and bought a new house and are going on vacation, that's not fair. Wait a minute, if I really love you, I'm glad.

Years ago I did quite a bit of study on church growth and the principles of the church growth movement. Do you know what the whole philosophy was? People want to be together with people like themselves, so you need to build your church around people who are alike. So one of the most well-known churches, books were written by the pastor, and this was the philosophy. And they said, how did we build our church? We looked at the demography of income level and social strata of the people that we wanted to reach, we listened to the music that was played and the statistics of the people who listen to that music that fit this realm. They called him Saddleback Sam because the church was called Saddleback. And this is our target, people like us that meet the dimension.

It's the total opposite of what God says He is doing. He is putting together the church with a mixture of everybody, that makes it unique, Jew and Gentile. He didn't start a Jewish church and then a Gentile church; He didn't start a church for slaves and a church for masters; didn't start a church for the rich and a church for the poor. He put them all together because in Christ there is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave or free, rich or poor, male or female. In that sense, there is a spiritual equality and oneness. That doesn't mean now we all have to be of the same social position, have the same income. No, it's our differences, but we love one another. Why? Because we belong to Christ, we are one in Him. If we're not careful our thinking gets so shaped that we start churches… we want churches for young people, we want churches for old people. What about what God says He is building? Jesus said I will build My church, and if I'm building my church and He is building His church, one of us is out of step and it isn't Him. That's what He does, He puts us together.

So love is not jealous, not envious. I may be the poorest person in this congregation and I thank You, Lord, for the blessings materially You have given to some in this congregation. And I don't lust for them because I have learned to be content with what You have given me. And other areas, we are not jealous, we are not competing with one another, we're not displeased when others do well. And we do feel the pain of others who don't and we want to help them when they are struggling. That doesn't mean one person has to bring this person up to their level and bring this person down to that. No, we're not talking about a leveling of everything because that would deny it all. We appreciate with our differences, what really matters is we are one in Christ. The slaves and the masters had to sit together in church, had to minister together as members of the body. Well, we'd be more comfortable having a church for slaves and a church for owners. We're not doing what people are comfortable with, we're doing what God says His will is and we're going to adjust to be comfortable with His will for us. Love “is not jealous.” Just as an aside, , we won't go look at the passages I have listed here, it will often be found connected to strife because that is what comes one way or another, envy, dissatisfaction, resentment against another person leads to conflict. The Corinthian church had it, they are noted for it, something is wrong. So this word ‘jealousy’ would be a word you could connect with strife, a work of the flesh.

“Love does not brag,” it has a self-effacing quality, it's not about me, not promoting myself. No matter what ways we differ, I am appreciative of what God has done in your life and what you bring to the body here, and how important you are to my own growth and development, and how blessed we are to have you in this church and to share together in the ministry as both ones that God uses. “Love does not brag.” And as one noted, like envy and boasting, bragging is a sinful preoccupation of oneself, I want people to know who important I am. We like the recognition. There is a time to recognize other people, all of that is not bad because we do appreciate one another. It's when I am looking for it and I am expecting it and I'm not very happy when I don't get it. I went to that church for months and nobody even knew I was there. Maybe you should have said something to let people know you were there. It doesn't mean we can't do things to look for people and help them… But if you are a believer and I'm coming in from the outside, I am going to have to look for ways that people can know I am here and I'm a believer. That's not bad, and help people to know who I am and look for a way. What could I do to help? It's not about me.

And here is what Jeremiah 9, and this is only one of a number of verses, but let me just give you these two from Jeremiah 9, verses 23-24, “Thus says the Lord, ‘Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts, boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on the earth; for I delight in these things,’ declares the Lord.” You know, one thing that does bring us together, believers in Jesus Christ? We all know Him, we've all experienced His love, His patience, His kindness, been credited with His righteousness. I look at one another, we look at the other person and say I see the grace of God at work there. Not, well, what are they doing for me? That kind of thing.

Love “is not arrogant.” You see how these things overlap, love is not arrogant. The Corinthians had a problem with this. One clear way, this word for arrogance is used seven times in the New Testament and six of the seven are in 1 Corinthians. Don't want to be that way, love “is not arrogant,” it is not focused on self. Humility would be the word to use for the opposite of arrogance. So if you're going to give love is not arrogant, you want to give the positive side, you would say it is humble, it's always thinking about the other person. Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.” And that's in the context of Christ humbling Himself. Just have to stop and think, Lord, You surrounded me with wonderful people that You have blessed, that You have gifted. They are so gracious. Just look at the different ways and the different ministries that are done. One well-known preacher, Martin Lloyd Jones, some of you read his stuff, he said at the end of his ministry as he looked back on it, he said my failure was I didn't build a great church; I built a teaching center, it just focused on teaching, but we never developed it as a church. I don't want this to be a teaching center. We'll see in Ephesians that teaching is to equip the saints. But that's not all it is; we're not a school, we're a body, and all the parts together contribute.

It amazes me and I mention it from time to time -- its not mentioned how many people serve in so many ways and don't get recognition. I gets lots of recognition, look at me, I'm up here and everybody is looking at me. But really, look at all the people working and serving and it goes on through the week and they do things from taking meals, to contacting people to check on them, and ministering in so many ways. That's part of the body, they don't do it to get glory. We're looking for how could I help, what could I do, Lord, how could I contribute? It doesn't have to be ‘important,’ doesn't have to be big. Lord, how can I help these people be used of You? We want to be careful, this is where we have to check ourselves. I have to be careful, I can preach with great knowledge, if I could do it, but it could all mean I am a nothing if I am not doing it out of love, desire to honor the Lord. Lord, I want these people to understand and appreciate this Word so they can grow and be greater used of You. If it's about me, I'm off the rails and I need to get myself back where I need to be; that's true for all of us.

Love “does not act unbecomingly.” What do you say? It doesn't act unbecomingly, that's the first of verse 5. The word comes from the scheme of things. One person put it this way, Paul is simply saying there are many ways of behaving badly and love avoids them all. That says it, there are many ways of behaving badly, love avoids them all, it “does not act unbecomingly.” Other ways it is defined and explained: the contrast finds the opposition between courtesy, good taste, good public manners, propriety, opposed to thoughtless pursuit, and so on. Love has good manners, it thinks about other people. We live in a society where it has become the right thing to do just to think about yourself. I like it, I do it -- a church like this -- I don't care what other people think. In fact sometimes we dress in our society just to offend other people, just to let them know I am me. You don't like it, learn to live with it, that kind of attitude is not a biblical attitude.

I am thinking about it, how will this impact other people, will this be viewed as thoughtful, as caring about them? The Christian is not vulgar, brusque, overbearing. Doesn't mean we don't be direct at times, we have to confront sin. We have dealt with all those things, but in the character of our life and in our relationships. Loving people is considerate of how their behavior affects others, even in little things. Sensitivity in relationships and politeness in conduct. I was given a book when I was a young believer, “Christian Courtesy.” It was a good thing for me to read as a young person, a teenager, young teenager. Be thoughtful. I realize things change but I want to be careful I don't get changed in the wrong sense. I ought to be thinking, what will they think, how will they think about this, would they be comfortable with this? We're going to get to this in Romans 14. We ought to be thinking about the other person; I'm just thinking about what you like, what you don't like, how you would like it with a balance that comes.

Love “does not seek its own.” Love is not selfish, we keep coming back to these ideas. 2 Corinthians 8:9, “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich.” He wasn't looking out for Himself, He had nothing to gain in that sense, He sacrificed, He wasn't seeking His own. That kind of selfishness, that's not to characterize me, the selflessness is. The selfishness of the world… He became poor that I might become rich, what was in it for Him? He needed nothing from me, He created everything and it was already all His. Love is not selfish, “it does not seek its own.” We get upset when we are not getting our way, when things aren't the way we think, when I'm not being treated the way I think I ought to be treated. Well, stop and think about the other person. Usually people want to come for counseling, they are unhappy about what someone is doing. When you are thinking about yourself, you can never be satisfied, results in tension.

When Marilyn and I… she's not as perfect as you think she is. We laugh because every time I use her as an illustration it has the opposite effect, everybody comes around and encourages her. I say I am losing ground here, I'm trying to build my side. We just decide we are not going to be in this, we're not going to fight, we're not going to bicker and we're not going to be waiting for an apology. That helps a lot. Sometimes when somebody does something wrong, when they apologize we'll be able to move on. We'll assume -- and I guess I was looking to cover for myself, when I do something dumb or stupid -- you won't sit there and wait for me to apologize, you'll just assume I know it was dumb and stupid and trust I'll get over and we'll move on; and I'll do the same. And you know if each of us is thinking about the best for the other and not concerned about me, things go remarkably well. If I go home and think I had a hard day and it was frustrating at work, I hope she is going to be ready. And I am home and she is talking about the kids and what's going on there and I think, I don't want to hear about the kids. Don't you care about my day? But if I go home and think she has probably had a difficult day and there are things going on, I know I have to go in and find out what I can do to encourage her; and she is thinking the same thing about me. What do we have to have conflict about? All we have to do is put into practice love “doesn't seek its own,” it's not about me. When we want to point out what is wrong with the other person, we can't deal with that, we can't fix it. The only person I can fix by the grace of God, because He does the fixing, is me. My wife can't fix me, I can't fix my wife. These are things that are given to each believer to do. “Doesn't seek its own,” so it's not about me. Well, if it is all about her, I guess I don't have anything to be upset about because it never was about me, and I'm not in this for me or what I get so guess I can't get upset.

So love “is not provoked,” that just moves us to the next one. Love “is not provoked” because it didn't upset me, it didn't get me angry because I don't think she was thinking about me. I'm not thinking about me, it's not about me. Love “doesn't seek its own” so I'm not thinking about what she could do for me, this person can do for that person. And so I don't get upset, not provoked, not exasperated. The heart of the word conveys the semantic force of to exasperate, to irritate. It is something between irritation and anger, it is when one takes offense because one's self-regard has been dented, wounded or punctured by some sour point. That's a good way to put it. What do I have to get irritated about? It's not about me. I thought they ought to have been more thoughtful, they should have given more thought about me, they should have done planning. We joked about Valentine's Day because I have to be thoughtful maybe in a different way. If your wife wants flowers, get her flowers; if I got flowers for Marilyn she would think I was hoping for her death so I have to be sensitive to Marilyn. Well, I know his wife liked flowers so I got you flowers. Well, you are not married to her. Get dressed, you are taking me out to dinner. Don't get exasperated, don't allow yourself to be irritated. Soon as I get it, catch it early. Wait a minute, I'm getting worked up about this and I shouldn't because it is not about me. Yes, but what they did… Well, that's what they did. What am I doing? Here is a summary that one person put it: it is not touchy, not ready to take offense.

Next point, it “does not take into account a wrong suffered,” “does not take into account a wrong suffered.” That sort of wipes it out. Here is what one person said. So many people nurse their wrath to keep it warm, they brood over their wrongs until it is impossible to forget them. The way this is put, does not take into account, the word ‘take into account’ is the word ‘logizomi,’ and it's an accounting word. It would be like you keep a register, like you keep a record, like maybe some of you do your checkbook, you keep a record of this check for this purpose, this amount; this is the word you use. Some people do that with the wrongs. I've had people come and they just have a list—here is what, and here and here and here. Wait a minute, I think the problem we have to start with is you are not loving. Oh, you are just ignoring what they did. Yes, because that's not your problem. Your problem is you are not doing what God says you ought to do, and you want their problem fixed thinking that will fix your problem, it's never that way. Maybe God has brought that difficulty into my life so I grow and learn to handle it biblically, wipe the slate clean. That's what God did with me, didn't He? He credited His righteousness to my account, it's clean, there are no charges to be brought. Sometimes we have a record. I had someone leave the church, they wrote me a letter, do you know what they included in the letter? They went all the way back 25 years, 25 years, they could tell… I don't doubt they were dinged and bumped and stuck. But that's what we do, keep a record, we're keeping an account? We do that in marriage. Yes I know, you did that last week, I imagine he'll do it again this week. That's all right, I haven't forgotten last week. Wait a minute, that's not a biblical relationship, that's not biblical love.

Now if I am looking through these things, how many of them are not true of me before I have to say God says I don't know you, you are not My child. We think we can breeze through these things, note above them excusable, excusable, excusable as though they don't apply that way to me and still call myself a child of God. That is self-delusion. If God says I am nothing, I am nothing; if He says at the judgment I never knew you, that's the last word. So we don't want to breeze through these things. We are done but not finished. So “does not rejoice in unrighteousness,” we're not glad when something wrong is done. Sometimes we are glad when a person does something bad, that just shows they weren't the good person everybody thought they were. That's not biblical love. We are saddened. Paul said, is anybody made sad and I don't grieve with them? That's characteristic of love. I'm not glad when a believer stumbles and that shows me to be a more righteous person.

We don't rejoice in unrighteousness, but we do rejoice with the truth, anything consistent with God's character, with what God would have done, I'm glad for that. And if something is unrighteous that happens, I want to step in and help that person deal with it, pick them up, get through it. That's Galatians 6, if a believer stumbles you come alongside, you want to help them, you want to pick them up. Love “rejoices with the truth.”

And then we summarize this. It “bears all things.” You ought to have ‘all things’ underlined in your Bible, it is the focal point, repeated four times—“bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” And that why number 16 in this list, which is another present tense verb, “Love never fails,” that's it. People say, I don't love them anymore. Well, you never did have agape love for them because agape love never fails. I don't think you can tell me that because you don't know my heart. And then you start going around in circles here. What does God say? You just told me you don't love them, God says the love He produces never fails. I tell you that you don't have biblical love and you tell me that I can't tell you that, no, I can't, but God can.

It “bears all things,” to a certain extent love is gullible, like when somebody tells you a lie that you know full well is a lie. That doesn't mean you always push these to extremes, it seems that excuses us. Love puts up with the utmost, it is not suspicious, it is not always looking, I think there is probably something. Once that starts, where does it end? It “bears all things,” it puts up with a lot. I take it they didn't mean it that way, I take it they probably just said what they'll regret saying, I want to overlook it. They’re looking for every little detail, those details are endless, it's a bottomless list. You “bear all things,” not in the sense I'll have to put up with it, I can't change it. No, I’ve buried it in the sense of what we've said, it's like water off the duck's back. There's a reason we have that, we used to say sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me, that's what was taught when I was in grade school. Nowadays you can go to prison for names, everybody is offended about everything, and they can read into it what they want. And pretty soon we as Christians are acting like that and we're suspicious and we doubt their motives. Paul told the Corinthians I don't care what you think my motives are, I care that the God who knows my motives knows what they are. We need to be sure we are where we ought to be.

It “hopes all things.” Even in the worst situation I know God can use the worst to bring out the best. David could commit adultery and murder but there was a good ending, God was still going to use him, and out of that miserable situation comes Solomon who is Jedidiah, the one that God loves. I hope all things and we endure all things and it never fails so that sort of puts it all together. And then he'll go on, we have to grow, we have to mature. And keep in mind in verse 13, “Now faith, hope and love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” So sit down with these 16, 15+1 things, make a list and checkmark beside yourself or grade yourself, A, B, C, D, how am I doing, I need to get it, this is what ought to characterize me as a believer. Not, I don't think this congregation is loving. Well, I guess you will have to start with #1, me, the only one I can do anything about. How can I bring more love? How can I assert myself to do things that would help encourage this body the direction to go? God doesn't say, stumbled again, throw him out; stumbled again, throw him out, we would all be on the rubbish heap. So we grow because God in His grace is producing His love in us.

Let's pray together. Thank you, Lord, for the riches of Your Word. Lord, it is a clear Word, it is not hard to understand, but if we are honest sometimes we don't want to do what You say is required of us. Lord, we want our wills to be brought into submission to Your will for us, for that is best, that will honor You and that is best for us. I pray that will be true of us individually so that it might be true of us as a congregation. We pray in Christ's name, amen.