The Relationship of Parents & Children

Transcript

GR 159
11/30/1975
The Relationship of Parents & Children
Gil Rugh

Considering the family relationship again this morning, this time focusing attention on the parents and the children relationship. We have read verses 15 to 21, and its background, because those of you who have been here for our study or aware that is the background for what Paul was talking about. Verse 18, being filled or controlled with the spirit. Now, you are filled or controlled by the spirit of God you will manifest it with certain type of conduct. And the wives will be subject to their husbands, the husbands will love their wives, the children will obey their parents and the slaves will be obedient to their masters.

We looked last week in particular at the responsibility of the husbands. And the word is clear; husbands are to love their wives. In verse 25 of Chapter 5, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. The love that Christ had for the church was that self-sacrificing love, functioning on the basis of what was best for the church nothing else to be considered, and husbands are to manifest that exact same kind of love for their wives. And our love for our wives, its husbands has to be a clear picture of Christ love for the church. Thus that love is to the highest and most ultimate degree.

The Chapter ended with the summary or a statement of the position of both husbands and wives and their responsibility. Nevertheless led each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself, because the point has been made that the husband and wife are one flesh. So when I loved my wife, I am loving myself. So no conflict there, the wives responsibility is to respect her husband. And I am to concentrate on my responsibility loving my wife. My wife is concentrated on her responsibility of being subject to me.

We come to Chapter 6, we come to the children. And again in any family that is going to function effectively the children must function as they are supposed to. Again we are going to be talking primarily about believers among children and parents. This is what the thrust has been, because in verse 18 of Chapter 5, it's those who are controlled by the spirit.

Now a person who has yet to trust Jesus Christ as savior does not have the spirit dwelling within him or her, and the spirit does not reside within you then you cannot be controlled by the spirit. So the basic ingredient is having the spirit and then following that is having the spirit control you. So we are talking about believers and the children here are to obey their parents in the Lord.

We are talking about still in the sphere of the Lord. This is the sphere in which we are operating. So it believes children and their responsibility, and children who are believers, who are controlled by the spirit, will manifest it in their conduct in their home with their parents. Now it's true on the other side of this that even people who are unbelievers, husband, wives and children who are not believers in Jesus Christ reap certain benefits by having their lives structured in accord with God’s plan and purpose. Even though they are not controlled by the spirit and thus cannot get the full satisfaction out of that relationship.

But a family where the husband leads the wife is subject the children are obedient and honor the parents will be a family that brings much more satisfaction to its members than an unbelieving family that does not function in accord with the structure that God has set down. But we are talking about primarily about believers and believers who are empowered by the spirit of God to be exactly what God indented for them to be in their family relationship.

Verses 1 to 3 talks about the responsibility of children to their parents and the responsibility is twofold obey and honor. Children obey your parents’ verse 2, honor your father and mother. And these two statements sum up completely with the responsibility of children are to their parents. Starts out, children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right, gives him a command, the command is to obedience. Now that’s a different word here and it's translated differently.

Then we had over in Chapter 5 verse 21, where we are being subject to one another than the wives are to be subject to their husbands; idea of being placed under their husbands in the order of things. The word in Chapter 6 verse 1 and obey is to listen under, not be placed under, but listen under and the idea although it's almost the synonym gives the idea of hearing instruction and doing it, doing what you are told is the responsibility of young people to their parents.

So the obey here has the idea of listening and obeying, following a command and thus being subject to the one who is giving you instructions. The object of disobedience is your parents. Now you note it’s both father and mother, parents plural; who are to be obeyed. Now, that would fit the teaching at the end of Chapter 5, because Paul has laid stress on the fact that the husband and wife are not two separate individuals, but one now.

So naturally follows through disobedience to the mother would be disobedience to the father. He cannot separate the two, but important that young people see that responsibility for obedience is not just for the father, but also for the mother. It's easy for children to get in the pattern of telling the line when dad is around, but you can be a little easier with mom, because she doesn’t apply the whip like dad does.

And so children usually or often obey dad, but are a little looser in obeying mother, and mother sometimes have a hard time controlling the children, which ought not to be a child who is a believer and thus under the control of the spirit or under the control of the spirit as a believer, will manifest the spirit controlling his life, by obeying his parents plural.

Now I think that’s interesting because it shows that it's not just mother and dad who can be controlled by the spirit of God, but also the children can. Now we saw in our discussion in the last couple of weeks that to be controlled by the spirit and this will come out later this morning, involve submission to the spirit in accord with the will of God as revealed in the word of God, and would give indication that children who have placed their faith in Christ thus receive their spirit into their life, now are to be being in taught the word in order that the spirit might be molding them into conformity with the word. If this is happening it will manifest itself by that Childs being obedient to his mother and his dad.

Now I think fathers are particularly ones to take note of this instruction. You know it's easy for us to think, well I don’t have a problem the kids obey me and you know if my wife did it right they would obey her too, there is not that kind of distinction remember. When my children don’t obey their mother, they don’t obey me. It's not well my kids obey me, but they don’t obey mother. When my kids don’t obey mother, they are not obeying me and I am just kidding myself. When saying well my children obedient to me, but they really give their mother a hard time. Now when my children give their mother a hard time, they are being disobedient to me and that brings me into the scene or should, as we will note in Chapter 4.

Easy to leave it slides, because you come home from work after a busy day, and the first thing you want to do is give the kids a paddling, well hardly. You know you don’t want them looking forward dad coming home for the daily beating every day. So it's easy lets thing slide, you know I come home from work and your wife says, you know the kids were terrible, just about drove me into distraction. So I told them to go to their room when you got home you say, great I appreciate that.

Well go back and say, look kids I want you be a little better mother had a hard day and you got on her nerve. So let’s try to keep it down, okay come on now let’s have dinner, and we just played down why, what’s better for the kids if they don’t get beating, no it's a selfish reason. I don’t really want to have to do it. And I am not doing it out of a concern for them; I am doing it out of a selfish motive. That it is inconvenient for me to I have exercise the discipline.

So just a word to fathers, to remember the order of things and in the house ultimately the husband is the head since he is the head of the wife, the house is arranged under the wife she is the dust part of the home as Pastoral Epistles tell us, under the husbands leadership. But when the children don’t obey the one under me they don’t obey me. And we need to be careful that we have a unified leadership in our homes or fathers are taking the responsibility with the mothers.

Okay children obey your parents. Now, a word about obedience it say, again on the decline we see it manifest in the husband and wife relationship with the wife not wanting to be subject to their husbands, we see it manifest in the children’s relationship today with a growing rebellion among children against the leadership and rulership of their parents.

Couple of passages I would like to focus your attention on. First is in Romans Chapter 1; this is a crucial area and God speaks to it very clearly, when children are disobedient to their parents and you see this spreading, it is an indication not only of rebellion against God but disintegration of the society in which it is happening. Basic structure within a society is the family, and you see the authority of the family breaking down, you see the society itself disintegrating and at the route of it all is hard of rebellion against God.

So look in Romans Chapter 1, verse 28; and just as they did not see fit it to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind; talking about unbelievers not willing to have God in their knowledge. So for the third time in these verses that’s stated, God gave them over. This is his judgment; he gives them over to their sin. To do things which are not proper, you know that’s a depraved mind operating now, doing improper things as God has revealed himself.

Note verse 29, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, malice, full of envy, murder, strife, deceit malice, they are gossips, slanders, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, and vendors of evil disobedient to parents. So you know disobedience to parents is a characteristic of one who is a hater of God, who is functioning totally in the realm of a depraved mind, doing things which are not proper as God has revealed them in this word.

So it's not just well it's a little bit of rebellion, but nothing serious. God says it is a basic characteristic of the depraved person. And important we understand it in the slide that it is a serious matter, it's serious as the other things in the list here, yet we tend to tolerate disobedience among the children when we wouldn’t tolerate murder. I mean if your child comes in and say well I just murdered four neighborhood kids you say, naughty, naughty you shouldn’t do, have some cereal and let’s get to bed. You say well that terrible.

But a children can be disobedient speak back to one or other or both of the parents, we think aren’t they rebellious rascals, no. God says that the same depraved mind acting in rebellion against me that’s acting when someone murders or someone lies or someone carries out deceit. So again I have to God’s perspective on it now, and see it as he says it is and it becomes much more serious than often we’ve been willing to face it.

Look over in Second timothy Chapter 3, same kind of evaluation Second Timothy Chapter 3, page 327; Second timothy Chapter 3. Again in this context disobedience the parent is put in the context of sin and its full manifestation as depravity bottoms up. Note Second Timothy 3, verse 1; but realize this that in the last day’s difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy.

You know disobedient to parents is a marked characteristic of sin in a fully degenerated state. Romans Chapter 1 as we built to degeneration to it's extreme and Second Timothy 3, as we come to the last day were sin becomes more clearly unveiled what do we have, children in rebellion against the authority of parents that’s all too obvious in our day of the breakdown of the structure of the home or children no longer required to be obedient to parents.

We did not see the authority of parents as final and even our judicial system begins to work against this. Well we have children rights now. Children’s rights in contrast to the parents’ authority were even a parent he can be difficulty if he doesn’t do what the court says he ought to and some situations with his children. And we see the disintegration and the problem is now, without realizing it we are breaking down the very fiber of our society, because if my children do not have to obey me as their father, who do they have to obey, and what we have is the final disintegration there is no authority.

And I don’t have to obey my mother or dad and I don’t have to obey you. And some of you work in jobs in the world and you see some of this, and the young people that come out of school for jobs. And they have been brought up in a situation where they didn’t obey mother or dad and now, you have got them working for you and they see no good reason why they ought to obey you either. And so we function in kiosk, it ought not to be so in a believers family, it will not be so where the children are controlled by the spirit of God.

Alright note back in Ephesians Chapter 6 verse 1; now the extent of this, what is the child I take it is inclusive as long as a person lives under the route of this parents. Now I do not carry it to the point that some do that you are obedient to your parents do you hit the grave, I don’t think that’s consistent with the word. But as long as I lived in my father and mothers home I was obedient to them, and honor and respect still follows through, and must and if it's not it's an indication that the spirit is not control of your life.

Obey your parents in the Lord. Now note the reason for this is right. Now here we have a final authoritative statement that goes against the grain of everything the world says, because Paul says that the reason you ought to do this is it's the right thing to do, but the world never operates on such a principle or philosophy, because the world has no standard of what is right. If there is not a God who has revealed himself then who is going to determine what is right and wrong.

What everybody is doing, and so we see a vast group of young people being disobedient to parents. So the right thing to do now is exercise my independence and rebel against my parents. You say, well no I don’t think I like that. But how are you going to know, what is right and wrong. Well we can know for sure because God have revealed himself in the word. There is a standard of right, there is ultimate final truth. God has spoken on the issue he says, this is right, now you do it.

There is an interesting parallel with this in Colossians Chapter 3, that’s two books over you are in Ephesians Philippians Colossians; page 310, Colossians 3 verse 20; children be obedient to your parents in all things. And I take it that’s inclusive, this is not in the things that you know pretty well measure up to what you like, its children obey your parents in everything.

Note the reason for this well pleasing to the Lord. Now in Ephesians Chapter 6 he says, do it because it's right. In Colossians Chapter 3 he says, do it because it is well pleasing to the Lord. And you put them together there is no conflict, they are the same thing. When you do what is right in accord with what God has revealed you are well pleased into God. When you are doing what is well pleasing to God, you are doing what is in accord with his word thus you are doing what is right.

So a young person who wants to be pleasing to God must do what is right, what is right is what is revealed in the word. So there is no chance of a young person being pleasing to God who is not being obedient to his parents in everything. And it goes beyond that surface obedience that I obey when they are there, but when I am out with my friends they don’t know what I am doing, no. But I am not functioning in light of what they know, I am functioning in light of what God says is right.

So I must be obey my parents even when my parents don’t know for sure whether I am obeying them why, because God say do it, and if I am allowing him to be the influencing factor in my life, I will. And when I find myself in a state of rebellion against my parents as a young person that’s an indication then that I would be going contrary to what God says is right and thus wouldn’t be, no longer pleasing to him.

Again the # for revelation is crucial, parents try to raise their children with standards, but you know decided to alone raise them. I wouldn’t want to bring them to church I am going to let them decide on their own. Well to decide on their own is beside to be standard unless, because there is no standard. The need for revelation is crucial and people don’t realize that the very foundation of our disintegration in the United States is that denial; that there was a God who was revealed himself.

Alright back in Ephesians Chapter 6 second area of responsibility of young people. Obey your parents’ verse 2, honor your father and mother. And you note father and mother are both included. You obey your parents both of them. You honor your parents both of them, and honor here goes beyond just obedience to the attitude of your heart. When you do it, you know what’s possible to obey what you are told to do. But have rebellion and resistance building upon the inside of you.

But a young person who is allowing God to control his life, when he obeys his parents, when she obeys her parents will do it out of a heart of respect and honor for their parents. And again it goes back down to the attitude, do I honor and respect whole my parents in an esteem, then I should obey them in whatever they say to do. Now this is, we are told this is the first commandment with a promise.

The quote here in verses 2 and 3 is makes it as Chapter 20, we won’t turn back there you could read this afternoon, in the Ten Commandments. At the beginning of the law, we have the summary of the law and the first commandment that’s given in the entire law with the promise on it is given in connection with children obeying their parents. This seemed to be significant as Paul quotes it here. The God would single this one out as the first commandment to attach a specific promise to it.

And connected with it is verse 3, you honor your father and mother in order that it maybe well with you and that you may live long on the earth. It maybe well with you, would include your spiritual prosperity. What you are all around including you spiritual make up, that it maybe well that you might be healthy spiritually in your relationship with God. And secondly it includes temporal matters, matters that are connected with earth and life.

Now you may live long on the earth. Now this guarantee that every child will obey his and honors his parents is going to live to be 80, obviously not. But it does indicate that a child who does honor and obey his parents will be blessed in his life here, and God will prosper him in a true sense spiritually and physically in his care for him. So a specific promise.

Same things as First timothy Chapter 4 verse 8, where we are told godliness is profitable for all things, and it includes profitable things in this life and things in the life to come. When you function in accord with what God says, He says that’s profitable both were this life you are on earth and for your future life and about your spiritual condition. And that’s true here.

When a young person functions as God would have them godly, then that’s profitable both for their life here and for their life which has to come. So it has all around benefits. So that’s simply in the first three verses as a responsibility of children, to obey and honor their parents. And if you are Christian young person this is what you need to do with your parents, honor them and respect them, because they are your parents.

Now you know there are two kinds of respect or honor. They can be respect and honor that is earned and there is respect and honor that is there by virtue of the position. A parent is to be respected not because they have earned it, but because they are parents. Some young people think well my parents don’t deserve my respect, they are inconsistent or whatever. Your parents deserve your respect because they are your parents. They don’t have to earn your respect. I don’t have to earn the respect of my children. I have that by virtue or should have it by virtue of being their father.

It's important that we be clear here, it's the same in the husband wife relationship. Now it should be earned, my conduct should as such that it would merit honor and esteem. And it's the same in the husband and wife relationship and so on. My conduct ought to deserve it, but there is a certain responsibility there by virtue of the relationship. And no matter what kind of father you have, what kind of mother you have; God says, if you are allowing him to control your life you have to honor them and respect them. It doesn’t matter if they are drunk in gutter, they are your parents and they are worthy of your respect and honor, because they are your parents. No other reason than that that is adequate.

Now verse 4 though there is another side to this; there is a responsibility that falls on the parents, and particularly the fathers. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger. Now that interesting that he doesn’t say parents, do not provoke your children where mother and father do not provoke your children. But he says parents no, he says fathers why, I take it a couple of reasons, one in addressing the father the wife would be included, because the father is the one ultimately responsible for what is going on.

So my children are being provoked to anger by their mother that is reflection on me, because that’s an indication I don’t have my house arranged properly, but they get indication here is ultimate discipline falls on the father, and I am the one responsible for it. So he singles out the fathers in this area. I am the one responsible for the home. Now my wife rules it under me. But I am the one ultimately responsible.

So in the disciplining and in the caring for the children there is a proper a conduct and there is an improper conduct. So the children have their responsibility and they are to occupy themselves with their responsibility, obedience and honor. Now fathers are to be aware of what their responsibility and it is, and first fathers do not provoke your children to anger.

That’s strange, because my idea is well if they are obedient to me and they honor me they can't be provoked, because that wouldn’t be right, because I am their father, they should not get provoke to me. But that would again be an abuse that would not be seeing my responsibility. My responsibility is not to provoke them.

You can chart down to Colossians 321, because there is another parallel statement where Paul says, do not exasperate your children fathers, unless they lose heart. Fathers are not to exasperate their children unless their children lose heart. It's possible for me to discipline my children in such a way that they become totally discourage, that their spirit is crushed, and they lose motivation they lose heart.

So it can be that I as a father could say my children are perfectly obedient. Now it might be a good testimony and it might not, it depends. If it means that I have crushed the spirit of my children they have lost heart, they have lost motivation, and I beat them into submission I want, that doesn’t indicate anything about the spirits controlling my home or my life.

There is proper kind of discipline. There is a proper kind of oversight, but I need to careful that I am not on my children in such a way as to provoke them and exasperate them. So that it becomes exceedingly difficult for them to be obedient, because I am unreasonable, I am unthoughtful and I don’t discipline them in accord with the way God would have me.

So I am continually provoking them and getting after them. They never do anything right. They are always out of line and they never can do anything that would please me, and thus they become discouraged, because I have not been fair in dealing with them. So it becomes very crucial that I as a father have a key responsibility for the oversight of my family I am the one who is responsible, and I am to see that my children are obedient that they are being developed to honor their parents, but they are not being provoked and exasperated to the point of discouragement into fee.

So you see how sensitive I must be. It's not well I go to work and what happens with the kids it's my wife responsibility and I leave it there. I had to find out what’s going on because the responsibility lies here. Now that’s the negative side, don’t provoke them don’t be staring them up to anger, which again just makes their obedience that much more difficult. It doesn’t excuse their disobedience, but it makes their obedience that much more difficult.

Verse 4, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Bring them up, same word as we had nourished over in Chapter 5 verse 29 in the connection with the husband and wife. The husband nourishing and cherishing; here the idea of nourishing in the bringing up or the development, and they are to be nourished or brought up in two areas the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. And the discipline here has to do with the idea of that upbringing, which involves correction or discipline, idea of training, a training with the element of discipline and correction involve has the idea of action.

I am to be nurturing them and this involves discipline and correction in their life. We’ll look at the details of that a little portfolio in a moment. Second aspect of that is instruction, well not only in discipline that’s not enough, that’s only one part of it. It's not enough that I come home and say alright, you’re bad you’re getting a spank and lets go get it done with alright my responsibility is over. There is another side of it, there is the discipline and the instruction means admonition, warning.

So it's not only my action it's my verbal communication. I am to be warning them instructing them. Again I see the need for myself as a father to be in the word and sensitive to what the word says, because God says I am responsible to nourish my children up in the discipline and in the instruction which is in harmony with his revealed will and his word.

Now if I am ignorant of what God has said in his word, how do I know how to nurture my children the discipline and instruction of the Lord, I can't and I say, well I leave that to mother. Well that’s fine except God hasn’t left it there. He has left it in ultimate responsibility with the father. Now it doesn’t mean the mother doesn’t have a part in it, doesn’t mean that she is involved in the instruction in the training in the disciplining.

But it means that the father is ultimately responsible to God for what is going on there, and to see that is carried out as he is revealed it in his word. And if you are not in the word, you not only can function with your wife as you are supposed to you can't function with your children as you are supposed to.

So there is any wonder that the devil delights in giving us as men and father’s important jobs that occupy all our time, thought and attention. So that we cannot be what God intends for us to be. It doesn’t matter if I am important, it doesn’t matter if I make a lot of money, and it does matter if I am the person that God sends I ought to be. And if I find myself unable to do that in my present situation then I better arrange my priorities and look for God to give me guidance and wisdom and how it can become to man that he wants me to be, and that includes in mind wholeness as well as every other area.

And there is no conflict in my job he say, I couldn’t do my job and do that. Well that’s an indication that God wants to you get another job that’s all, more important to make a lot of money or is it more important to be the person God wants you to be. Well in a thousand years it's not going to matter whether I made a $1 million or a $100, but it is going to matter if I was the person that God want me to be.

But usually the conflicts we see in these areas are those in our own mind that we make up as excuses for sloughing off our responsibility and are really problems and conflicts at all when we get down to the heart of the issue. Passage you need to look at back in First Samuel Chapter 3 page 396, in the Old Testament. We are back to the Old Testament now and get to come forward, page 396 First Samuel Chapter 3.

Example of how not to raise your children in a tragic sense is the man Eli in the Old Testament. And you can read the opening chapters of Samuel, but the situation is Samuel had been trusted Eli’s care. Eli has been deficient in raising his own children. There is a word of warning here, because Samuel perpetuates after seeing what God does to Eli. Samuel’s children failed to turn out, because Samuel doesn’t discipline them as God would have him.

But Eli is the man under consideration and note verse 11. Now First Samuel 3, the Lord said to Samuel, behold I am about to do a thing in Israel at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle in that day I will carry out against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house from beginning to end. For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.

That the same word that’s translated in the Greek translation of the Old Testament as we have in Ephesians Chapter 6 verse 4 instruction, bring them up in the discipline and instruction or admonition. Eli did not instruct them admonish them warn them. God says, for that I am going to bring destruction on his house. And you see a principle here to withhold discipline and admonition from your children is not an active love, it's an active selfishness, because what is going to happen here it's going to cause Eli his position and it's going to cost his sons their life, because both his sons are going to be destroyed by God on the same day.

And God says for this Eli, none of your dissentience will ever reach old age, they all going to die in the prime of life. And Eli and Phinehas or Hophni, the two sons are going to die in their prime. You didn’t admonish them. You know who God holds the responsible, now it doesn’t excuse the children. God holds the children responsible for their sin and judges them for it, but ultimately he says Eli you have failed, and I am bringing judgment on your house, because you didn’t admonish them.

So I am going to judge them, but I am judging you to and a word of warning on a failure to be disciplining and instructing. That’s why it's an active selfishness. I don’t withhold discipline instruction from my children, because I love them so much. I don’t want to get into those areas. I withhold because I am so selfish I don’t love them enough. I want to give them the time and attention in these areas that it deserves in merits.

Couple of verses that I chart it down, we are just going to read through them quickly to get an idea of what the Old Testament says on it in proverbs. Proverbs going back toward the back of your bible a little bit; and we will go to about page 910; 911 in there, page 911 Book of Proverbs, best thing you can do to find out some basic principles about living your life is to read the Book of Proverbs. Tomorrow is the 1st December, you ought to start and read one chapter of proverbs each day for the month of December, and that will carry you through the book of proverbs, and you will be fine and you will be amazed to find the clear concise instructions there given in practical way.

We wrestle around about decisions; all we have to do is read what God says, through inspiration of the wise man that he ever placed on the earth, the man Solomon. Well just a couple of comments when he says about children and the raising of them. Proverbs 13 verse 24, he who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

You note the contrast there. There is God’s final word on it. I don’t discipline my children because I love them. I love them too much to give them a spanking. God says it just the opposite, if you really love them then you’ll apply the rod, and if you hate them, you will let them go their own way an opposite that just about cancels out any excuse are you, reason I don’t like to spank them is because I don’t like it. It's unpleasant to me. But that’s not the issue in true love. The true love goes on the basis of what is best for them, and thus discipline.

Verse Chapter 19 of Proverbs; Chapter 19 verse 18, discipline your son, while there is hope and do not desire his death. You note that again; God says, discipline your son while there is hope, don’t desire his death. Now withholding discipline from him is sending them on the road to destruction. Fathers would give their life for their sons yet they failed the the biblical admonition to discipline them. If you love his life, don’t send them on the way to destruction, which is the road he is on if you are failing to discipline him.

Chapter 22 verse 6, train up a child in the way he should go 22, 6, even when he is old he will not depart from it. Problem with young people that grow up and are disobedient is they weren’t train when they were young people. In accord with the biblical truth of the word, doesn’t mean that I didn’t give them everything that life could give them, doesn’t mean I didn’t shower them with affection, quotes. But they were trained in the way he should go in accord with the word of God. God assurance is they won’t depart. I think that’s a promise I can lay hold of.

Look over in verse 15 of Chapter 22; foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, the rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Here we come to the basic difference in philosophy of the world and the bible. The world’s philosophy and this is the philosophy of liberalism in general; is that there is good in every person and that child has that deep seated goodness in him.

Now all we have to do is let him lose to let that goodness out. The bibles philosophy and teaching is whatever you do, don’t let what’s in out, because it's not goodness it's corruption. Foolishness is what bound up in the heart of a child, not goodness. So the philosophy that we break down the restrictions to break down the structure you just allow the child to do what he want, to study what he wants, and that goodness will just flow forth, and all we see that goodness flooding the land, no we don’t; why what’s there, foolishness.

What you do to correct the foolishness; the rod of discipline. It's for his own good otherwise you will be consumed by his own foolishness and wickedness. And I don’t want that to happen and he has to learn discipline from the youngest why, so that when he grows to adulthood he knows what it is to be discipline before the Lord and to with the life under the Lord disciplined was self -disciplined.

Look in Chapter 23 verse 13; last one of these verses. Do not holdback discipline from the child. Although you beat him with the rod he will not die and sometimes they cry like they will, but they survive every time. You shall beat him with the rod and deliver his soul from shield. It's important that we as Christian parents and Christian fathers understand the seriousness of the matter.

You beat him with the rod; you deliver his soul from shield. I say I love him, I wouldn’t want to anything to happen to him, but I don’t discipline him. God says I don’t love him, I have sent him down the road of destruction and that’s love, no that’s selfishness. I didn’t discipline him, because I didn’t have time, I didn’t have interest. If I really love him, then I will exercise the discipline. That God says is essentially for his well-being.

Now other side of asses maybe the disciplining side and the chasing it goes with it. Back up to earlier in Proverbs Chapter 9, we are just going to pick up one or two verses on this subject, the training. And again I encourage you to read proverbs to get the thrust of some of these instructions.

Proverbs Chapter 9 verse 10, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, the knowledge of the holy one is understanding. So an instruction and admonition for my children, where am I going to start, well if wisdom and knowledge and understanding centers in knowledge of God, the fear of him naturally I am going to have a firm foundation and saturated teaching with the word of God.

They are going to be saturated in the word why, that’s the beginning of wisdom, doesn’t matter if he grows up to be the greatest scientist the worlds ever known, if he doesn’t know God, he doesn’t have any wisdom. So my responsibility is to see that he is being instructed in the word. And he will be growing up with the standard of ultimate truth, not growing up to do it because dad said to do it, but find out that dad didn’t have all knowledge.

He will be growing up, because dad said to do it, because it's in accord with the word. So he is ready to make the transition, when he leaves this home. He doesn’t do it just because dad does say, to do it; he says it because dad says to do it because it's in accord with the word. So that when dad’s gone he still has this standard, an unchallengeable standard of final truth the revelation from God.

Look back in Deuteronomy Chapter 6; perhaps the classic Chapter in the Old Testament on this. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers Deuteronomy the 5th book in the Old Testament page 268; Deuteronomy Chapter 6 verse 4 Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God the Lord is one, and you shall love the Lord your God with all your hearts with all your soul and with all your might. And these words which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart. Now you note, you shall love the Lord your God totally and if you love him what is the going to be follow through, his word will saturate and characterize you. It will be on your heart.

Verse 7, you shall teach them diligently to your sons, shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up, bind them as a sign on your hand they should be frontless on your forehead, write them on them door post of your house and on your gates. What is he saying; the word of God permeates and saturates my life and my home.

So that my child, my children are being brought up in an environment of the word. It's natural for them to talk about the word with their parents. It's natural for them to respond to the word, when it is presented to them, because why, because it's being presented to them. It's being taught to them, it is being diligently taught to them. So the every area of their life they become saturated with the word. The world saturates them, we are responsible to see their saturated with God’s word.

So that they are instructed, admonished and taught. And I must be consistent with the word. So they see it in the life of their father as well as their mother. That consistency and harmony with the word is not just that mother is a spiritual giant, but mother and dad. See the importance of the word; I see the word permeating my fathers’ life. So that he becomes a pattern for me and thus they are brought up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.

One passage in closing in that Psalm 127; about the middle of your bible, page 881 Psalm 127; so we see something of the importance of the children, because it goes with the breakdown of our society and so on, the children no longer considered to blessing they are considered to as something of a determinant and a hindrance and playing down children. More people deciding not to have children and not viewing them as real blessing, and there is no wonder the little devils that we are turning out are hardly a blessing.

I mean you know parents complain I can't control them, what am I going to do with them. That’s tragic when that happens in a Christian home; you know I just can't control my children. Well you need to get down with the word and then set about the going with the words says, that‘s all. It's so simple that we don’t want to do it. But look at Psalm 127 behold verse 3, children are a gift of the Lord the fruit of womb is a reward.

So, very simply stated children are not curse there or blessing. They are God’s gifts or God’s heritage. He counts it as a reward given from him. Now since he claims that he has given it, it's a heritage or a gift from him, he has given instructions on how it ought to be cared for. So I see these as God’s provision. God’s blessing to me than to be cared for as God has instructed in his word.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior so are the children of once youth. Now bless it is the man who is quiver, he is full of them. They shall not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate. So many children are blessing. We look at families that do have number children, what’s wrong with them today, don’t they understand, and maybe they do understand.

But the children are God’s blessing. But when I go that far, then I must be careful to realize as God’s heritage and God’s gift to me, then I am responsible before God to raise them in accord with his instructions, so tremendous privilege, but tremendous responsibility. But again I have the spirit of God who indwells me as a parent. I have the word of God that is opened to me through the teaching of the spirit of God. And I simply just have to willing to allow the spirit of God to mold me into the father and parent. That he says he wants me to be in light of the word did his instructions.

So very clear, for children your responsibility to obey your parents and to hold them in respect and honor. In spite of the pressure of the world and in spite of the pressure of your friends, you have to function as God wants you to function. Our responsibility is parents and particularly as fathers, not to be provoking them and exasperating them because we discipline them only when we lose our temper or get irritated. But that consistency, in order that they might be nourished and nurtured, in the discipline and instruction to the Lord, in order that they might grow up as testimonies for him and testimonies to what he does in lives that are submitted to him.

Let’s pray together. Our father again we thank you for the clarity of your words and its efficiency. Lord for the simplicity of the instruction even regarding our homes. Lord we pray for each child who is here; first of all that they might come to know you through personal faith in Jesus Christ. Then Lord that as your children they might see the need of submitting their lives to the spirit and of allowing you to mold them into the young people that you want them to be; that they might manifest your control in their life by willing obedience to their parents, honoring them and respecting them in their hearts.

Then Lord for we as parents in particularly as fathers that we might be careful, do not provoke or exasperate them. But we might be sensitive to the spirit in our lives to function in our relationship with them according to the word, in order that they might be nourished up in the discipline, and the instruction that is in accord with your revealed will in the word. Pray Lord that our homes and our families might indeed be a testimony to what you have accomplished in our lives, to the work that you are doing day by day and transforming us into the image of your son. For we pray in his name, Amen.